


This Time

by Kou (Rietto)



Series: AkaYona AU : Zeno caring Shin-Ah [2]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen, full with headcanons, spoiler for ch100+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3511742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rietto/pseuds/Kou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, Zeno couldn't be more patient.</p><p>In which Zeno decided to take Shin-Ah with him and may or may not change the course of the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Esta vez](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171329) by [narutinachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/narutinachan/pseuds/narutinachan)



> Oh, and before everything, let me say one word to you all.  
> Sorry.

Seiryuu ran as fast as he could, the bells tied to his mask jingling with every step he took.

He was still a child, could still be called a toddler even, and yet he was running towards an army with every intention of killing them. Every single one of them.

They had to be killed.

If they're not... then they'd return again with more reinforcement, and if that happens, it would be even harder for him to protect the village.

The village had to be protected. Ao protected it after all. Ao loved it after all.

 

_'I'm sorry... Ao... I still can't use sword... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...'_

 

He apologized repeatedly to his beloved person as he ran.

Until the end, the thought that he might get killed never crossed his mind.

 

* * *

 

Seiryuu had always been told to never use his power.

But he knew how to activate it. He knew how to control it. Ao had taught him.

He'd cried. He'd begged Ao to stop.

Ao wouldn't listen.

It's for his own good, he'd said.

“Please... Ao... I won't ever use it... I'll train hard... so...”

He managed between his sobbing.

“Ao... I don't like it, Ao... It hurts... My mask... please give it back...”

Ao said that it'd be over soon. It's his power back-firing, but besides making him vulnerable, there's nothing to it.

If he could, Seiryuu wanted to shake his head. It's not that, Ao, he'd wanted to say.

Hurting Ao is painful... Seeing Ao not moving is painful...

“Ao... don't die...”

 

* * *

 

~~“As if I'd die that easily, you brat.”~~

 

* * *

 

_The soldiers aren't like Ao._

_They die so easily._

_Their cute hearts... they're so easily stopped and taken away..._

_It's nice... it's fun..._

_Ao, can you see? Maybe not. Ao said you can't see anything anymore._

_Then, Ao. Listen to their voices. You said you'd know where I am from the bells, right? Listen, Ao. Their voices are clearer than bells. Prettier. I like it, Ao._

_Ao, if I left some behind, would more come back?_

_Would I get to hear this pretty sound again? Would I be able to see more of these cute things?_

_Answer me, Ao..._

 

* * *

 

**_“What's going on here?!”_ **

 

* * *

 

_Aaah... I'm sorry, Ao..._

_I shouldn't have used it after... all..._

 

* * *

 

When he woke up, Seiryuu found himself lying on his cot. He tried to move his body, but couldn't. He didn't panic though, he knew the reason why he couldn't move. He'd been explained thoroughly after all. He'd been trained too after all.

He heaved a sigh and tried to hold back a sob. Everything that happened last night had came back to him.

There were soldiers. He couldn't use sword yet, so he used his power on them.

And...

He'd killed all of them.

Surely he had. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be alive. He wouldn't be brought back to his house. The village would have been destroyed. He'd be the first to be killed.

“That's... great...”

Seiryuu had realized. At some point, he'd completely forgot about the reason why he fought. He forgot that he had to protect the village his beloved person loved. And at some point... he started to consider leaving some alive so many more could return.

“Why... Ao... Why did I think that?”

It's odd. When he was with Ao he'd never thought something like that. When he was with Ao, he just wanted it to stop. It's not fun at all to see Ao's weakening heart. It's not fun at all having to see him unmoving. Ao's grunt of pain didn't sound pretty at all.

And yet...

“I'm scared... Ao, what happened to me...?”

Of course, no one could answer him.

 

* * *

 

“Ah, you've waken up?”

At least, Seiryuu thought no one could. Then again, even if he could, the golden man didn't seem like he would.

 

* * *

 

Yellow... dragon.

The first words that came to his mind when the strange man entered his field of vision was those. The man was still young. Probably only ten years or so older than Seiryuu was. He was strange. His hair was the color of ray of sunshine, his bangs were held up by green bandana thingy with a strange medallion Seiryuu felt like snatching tied to it, and his smile was even brighter than the sun.

He didn't think he'd ever seen him before, despite the strange feeling of familiarity he could feel.

A stranger, that's for certain. He felt like he'd seen him before, long ago, but it couldn't be. He'd never forgotten everyone that he'd seen.

And he's no villager too. He'd seen everyone in the village after all.

Seiryuu panicked then.

“He-hey, Seiryuu! Calm down!”

He couldn't move, his body was still paralysed, there's a stranger in his house and the fact that said stranger knew what he was worsened his anxiety.

He had to move... he had to kill this man...

Even if he had to use his power again... he had to take off his mask and kill him!

Outsiders can't know about him at all cost... His existence couldn't be known by outsiders... Ao told him to never forget that! If anyone found out... the village will-

And then his vision cleared.

The man had taken off his mask, taken off the limitation to his power. He seemed worried, his kind eyes staring straight to Seiryuu's. His hand warm on his forehead.

“Seiryuu, are you alright?”

Seiryuu activated his power after a second delay.

The man's heart was... beating fast. He was like... everyone else. Everyone's heart always beat faster when he's around. Only Ao stayed calm under his influence.

Stop it...

He had to... stop it...

The whole world turned dark, and the only thing he could see was the strange man, still seemed worried. Still seemed frightened. His hand was still on him...

Let go let go let go!

He devoured his hand then, because his touch felt weird on his skin. Because he actually felt like leaning to it. It's wrong wrong wrong... This man's the same as others. He's going to destroy the village. He's here trying to trick him to it...

He wouldn't fall for it... surely now that he's affected by his power, he'd show his true color...

Like everyone else... scream... beg for mercy...

Making pretty sound, prettier than his bells...

But then, the man heaved a sigh of relief.

He smiled even wider than before.

His heartbeat slowed.

“Thank heavens...,” he said.

As if he wasn't scared at all. As if he wasn't bothered at all that his right hand was now useless.

“Seiryuu's alright. If Seiryuu can still use your power like this, that means you're still plenty healthy. But, Zeno don't think it's good idea right now, so...”

Still... slowing down... he's calming down...

Calmer than even Ao...

“I will let you use it to your heart content on Zeno after you're stronger, so will Seiryuu let Zeno care for you until then? Oh, Zeno's my name.”

He said with a carefree laugh.

Seiryuu was at loss as to how to respond to his words, and before he knew it his power deactivated. Light returned to his vision, and with his other hand, the man, Zeno, ruffled his hair.

“Thank you. Wait here for a sec, alright, Seiryuu? Zeno will get some water for you.”

He said as he stood up and went to the kitchen. He hummed happily as he filled a bowl with water, albeit with difficulty since one of his hand was unusable and his body must be mildly paralysed, and he was almost skipping when he went back to Seiryuu's side.

Admittedly, Seiryuu was dumbstruck.

“Seiryuu, can you move? You'd have to sit or else you'd choke.”

He'd never meet someone like this Zeno before, someone who could smile and didn't show fear towards him. And he even had used his power on him. He'd crippled him. It's weird. If even the villagers wouldn't act 'friendly' towards him, if even Ao was harsh towards him, he didn't think he'd get such treatment from an enemy.

Probably taking his silence as a no, the man then put the bowl away for a moment and then hummed, apparently wondering what he should do. He raised his devoured hand and stared at it really hard, as if he was trying to move it by sheer will.

“As expected, Seiryuu's power really is my weakness. It's been minutes and Zeno still can't move it yet. Hmm... How long again, was it? It's been so long I've forgotten.”

He said it like it's an inconvenience for him, but he didn't seem really bothered. Rather, he was still smiling.

Yet...? It's supposed to be permanent. Ao said it would be permanent. Devoured organs would never be usable again. Activation of his power could paralyse everyone, him included, and that's reversible, but devouring was another thing altogether.

“Well, it's not good to make you wait too, isn't it, Seiryuu? Excuse me then.”

And before he knew what's happening, Zeno had scooped him with his usable hand and when he realized it, he was already sitting on Zeno's lap, leaning to his chest, being held with Zeno's left hand firmly and yet gently. The surprise made him squeak. Zeno however, must had found it amusing because he giggled into his short blue hair.

“Seiryuu, you really are the cutest, aren't you?”

…cute?

Cute things are like the children in the village. Like the small animals in the forest. Seiryuu didn't think he's cute. Not with his scary eyes. No one had ever called him cute before.

Well, to be fair, he didn't think he should had been thinking about that. Instead of wondering which part of him made this strange Zeno thought that he's cute, he should have wondered who he could be, acting all familiar to him.

Acting nice to him.

Seiryuu did wonder about it though. For a second he really did.

“Right! It's alright now, don't you think so? Are you comfortable? Can you feel your body yet? Can you move? It might take longer this time because Seiryuu used your power even when you're paralysed.”

And... he knew? About his power? About the side-effect?

Even though Ao said everyone misunderstood. Even though Ao said no one knew nor cared about it.

Maybe... maybe Zeno did misunderstand though. He didn't seem to have realized that he wouldn't be able to use his right hand again.

Should... should he tell him?

Seiryuu was considering it, maybe it'd fix this strange Zeno with his strange smile and friendliness, when suddenly he felt something pressed to his lips.

It was the bowl of water Zeno had brought from kitchen earlier.

But his left hand hadn't left Seiryuu's stomach, still holding him firmly.

Seiryuu's breathing hitched.

“No? You're not thirsty? Hmm... But Zeno thinks Seiryuu has to drink something... Oh, I know. What about fruits? I think Zeno still have some in my bag. Watery fruits are better too, don't you think? They're sweet! Seiryuu, do you like sweet things?”

He said as he shifted to reach his bag, and rummage through it.

Seiryuu could only stare wide eyed at his hand as he did so.

It's moving.

“Yup, Zeno still has some loquats! Do you like loquat, Seiryuu?”

He asked as he played with the fruits, his fingers moving dexterously. With one hand, he juggled them, showing Seiryuu that he'd regained perfect control of his devoured right hand.

That's... impossible...

“Hm? Seiryuu? What's wrong?”

Ao said... it's impossible...

Ao wouldn't... lie to him...

Seiryuu knew. Ao was honest. He never lied.

So... Ao... did he misunderstand too? Did his predecessor too?

It's confusing... He needed Ao to explain. For some reason, suddenly he found it hard to breathe. And the air too, felt so cold. He was trembling. He was sure he was, even if he felt oddly detached from his surrounding at the moment. His vision was kind of blurry, and he couldn't hear anything too.

Even though he was sure someone was crying.

Seiryuu didn't like it. He wanted to run away. Away from the house, away from this strange Zeno... maybe to the forest. He needed... to get away...

It's so cold...

And then, suddenly, it's not so cold anymore.

“Seiryuu... there there... it's alright, see? Seiryuu is alright. Zeno will make sure you are alright.”

Zeno was... holding him... tighter. His breaths tickling his ear.

“I'm sorry, Seiryuu. Zeno should have visited sooner... I'm sorry.”

He whispered, and for some reason, Seiryuu was reminded of Ao.

Ao... apologized too.

Before he fell ill, Ao apologized too.

Only Ao... apologized to him...

He couldn't be with Seiryuu longer, and he apologized. Only Ao was like that. Not like others, who only did it out of fear.

“I'm sorry... Seiryuu... I'm sorry...”

Only at this point that Seiryuu was convinced that Zeno was unlike the others.

 

* * *

 

Seiryuu still thought that he needed to kill him though.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Ao once told Seiryuu to not trust strangers. More than that, if possible, he needed to kill them when necessary before they could harm him and the villagers. It's one of Ao's strictest teaching, and so Seiryuu took it very seriously. He supposed what he said had a point too, if what the bad people said before Ao took care of them was any indication.

Even if this Zeno was similar to Ao (no matter how glaring the differences were), he's still a stranger. There's no doubt in his mind that what he needed to do was to kill him as soon as he regain control of his body.

There was however a slight doubt in his mind that he'd be smothered before he could do that.

He couldn't breathe.

“Let... go...!”

Zeno was holding him too tightly in his sleep. He would have pushed him if he could, but even if he could move some of his smaller joints, his strength hadn't returned yet. At that time, he didn't think he could even raise his hands, much less pushing away a man (or was he still a boy?) few times bigger than he was.

That was to say, he doubted he'd be able to even if he had his full strength.

But he had his eyes. Ao said he shouldn't use it, but there's no oth-.

Wait.

Would his eyes even work?

He'd devoured Zeno's hand earlier, and yet after few minutes he could use it again like nothing had happened. Could devoured organs regain its function? Ao told him that if he had to devour, prioritize on the limbs and heart. Limbs to prevent them from striking him, and heart to kill them immediately.

Seiryuu's first time devouring organs was on the battlefield though, because he had no other choice. But he made sure to devour all of the soldiers' hearts.

… he did, right?

That's why he decided to return, right? Because it's fun... it's so very much fun, but there were no more hearts to see and stop and he could see frantic thrumming of hearts in his village, and he wanted to see them clearer and-

Seiryuu's breathing hitched when Zeno suddenly tightened his hold.

“It's alright, it's alright...”

He said against Seiryuu's shoulder.

“Everyone is alright too, so Seiryuu don't need to worry.”

“... Zeno's awake?”

Somehow Seiryuu could feel his smile when he answered that he couldn't sleep.

“Zeno's been wanting to see Seiryuu for a really long time, you see? Zeno's too happy to sleep, despite the circumstances.”

“It's hard to breathe.”

He said a-matter-of-factly, and he could feel Zeno shift minutely and loosened his hold just a tiny bit. He was chuckling too. It's like he was pretending just so he could ignore Seiryuu's plea and keep on suffocating him.

But... it's weird.

Zeno was laying in the cot with him, treating him like a pillow if not personal body warmer, and Seiryuu honestly didn't know why he'd do it. Most of the villagers thought that his touch was as dangerous as his glance after all. Even Ao wouldn't hold him like that.

(Then again, Seiryuu figured out early that Ao liked holding his pillow in his sleep, and replacing it was easy and worth the light scolding in the morning)

He didn't realize it yet, but Zeno's confession kind of made him forget of his dilemma. His mind, earlier filled with questions about what he should do to kill Zeno, was already focusing on Zeno himself as a person. About curiosity as to why he was there with him. As to why he seemed and felt familiar. Why he's treating him like this.

In the end, curiosity overcame him, and when he realized it he was already asking questions.

“Zeno, why are you here?”

“Zeno is here to see Seiryuu.”

“Why?”

“Because Zeno may or may not have promised to Seiryuu that I’d come visit. It’s been so long that Zeno has kinda forgotten. To be safe, Zeno decided to come anyway.”

“I don’t remember you at all.”

“That’s alright. It’s been so long after all.”

“Don’t you mean you promised Ao?”

“No, I’m sure Zeno promised Seiryuu.”

“The villagers called Ao Seiryuu too.”

“Zeno’s gut says it’s this Seiryuu I promised back then.”

“… are you sure it’s not just rumbling because you’re hungry?”

As if on cue, a rumbling sound could be heard. Zeno burst out laughing. Seiryuu was a bit stunned. He lived in a small hut at the outskirt of village. It’s a feared place where no one dared to come close. House of monsters, he’d heard some children called it once.

To hear the sound of laughter echoing inside was unthinkable.

Seiryuu didn't know how to describe the strange sensation he's feeling.

“Zeno doesn't doubt your ability to cook, but Zeno can take care of his self. Zeno didn't come just for the food.”

“... just? So that's one of your reasons?”

“No! It's just... well, a man got to eat, you know? But Zeno brought his own food! Like the loquats!”

Seiryuu supposed it's a valid point. Zeno seemed young too. He's still growing, Seiryuu supposed, so it's natural if he wanted to eat a lot. Ao told him to eat a lot too, so he could grow strong and healthy and always ready to fight.

“So why don't you eating now? Zeno's hungry, right?”

“Zeno can eat later. Zeno still wants to stay like this. Speaking of which, can you move? Are you still numb?”

Seiryuu tested his body. He could move, mostly, but still he's still weak. Still no change since last time he checked. He sighed resignedly and shook his head once. Zeno sounded pleased.

“Hm... Still paralyzed, huh? Well, no matter. It means Zeno can hug Seiryuu for a bit longer! Hehehe, Seiryuu, you're so warm and cute~!”

“I'm not cute.”

“To Zeno, Seiryuu is cute, so let's just leave it at that.”

Seiryuu pursed his lips but agreed to disagree with him. Zeno didn't seem like he'd back down anyway. For some reason, he got the impression that Zeno was a stubborn individual.

Probably because Seiryuu couldn't imagine what he did to be allowed inside his house. Seiryuu was the village secret, which was why his hut was located away from the village, hidden from the rest of the world. For a stranger to find his hut was practically impossible, that's why Seiryuu figured the Elders must have led him to the hut.

Speaking of which, what _did_ he do?

An army attacked the village, and he killed them all and nearly the villagers too. Surely they're panicking at the moment. Seiryuu couldn't imagine it at all. At times like these, accepting an outsider would be the last thing the Elders do. Also, for them to send Zeno to his hut, even if no one wanted to be near him due to what (nearly) happened, it's just too odd. Add to the fact that Zeno knew a lot about him, probably even more that what he knew, it's just impossible.

Something inside him told him then, that if Zeno didn't come to the village it's possible.

Most likely he went straight to his hut.

But that's impossible, he tried to reason with himself. There's not even path paved for him. Normally, no one would be able to find it.

But Zeno wasn't normal, his mind said.

Well, Zeno was weird, but he seemed normal enough. Even if for some reason he couldn't stop thinking that Zeno was a yellow dragon. But in that case, Seiryuu thought it's him who's weird.

“...”

“Hm? Seiryuu, what's wrong?”

If he could, Seiryuu would probably turn around and scanned Zeno's expression. He had good eyes. He could tell people's feelings. At least, he believed he could. But Zeno... from the start, he's all but smile. And worry. And stuffs.

It's the first time he'd ever meet someone like that, and so Seiryuu didn't know how to interpret him.

As he was wondering about it, Zeno shifted and when he realized it he was already staring right to his brown eyes. Zeno was smiling, as expected.

“What is it?”

As expected... he did seem familiar...

“Who… are you?”

“Zeno. Seiryuu can call me Zeno.”

It wasn't an answer that Seiryuu was looking for, but either he's dense or purposely answering it wrongly, Seiryuu wasn't so sure. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Zeno only grin in return.

“How did you know… about me? About my power?”

“Zeno knows about Seiryuu from gut feeling. About your power, someone told Zeno a long time ago.”

A Seiryuu... maybe? Ao? Could be an escaped villager. For some reason though, since the beginning he seemed like he knew more than even Seiryuu, which kind of ruled out every possibility he could think of.

For some reason though, even though he wanted to press him, Seiryuu decided against it.

“What’s gut feeling? Zeno earlier said your gut said something too.”

“Ah, it's a saying. It means something that you just know without explanation.”

“Like… Like Zeno being yellow dragon?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Zeno is Ouryuu. Zeno is a dragon warrior too, like Seiryuu.”

Like... him...?

Zeno too... like him?

The only person who's like him that he'd seen was Ao, and he was different than Zeno. So very different. He tried to move his hand, and tried to traced as much of Zeno's face as he could before it fell down again. Zeno took his hand after that in his, and placed it on his cheek. Like he didn't mind, even if it was something that Seiryuu did out of impulse.

Zeno even inched closer, and their faces were now just inches apart. He felt like he could even hear his breathing.

Seiryuu didn't know how to react to it, but there's something on his throat which he swallowed down.

“Zeno’s eyes don’t seem like mine,” he decided to say in the end.

Zeno had brown eyes which irises seemed perfectly normal. Not slitted like his. They're warm and inviting, not cold and intimidating. Not like his.

“That’s because my power isn’t in my eyes. I can’t stop people’s movement like Seiryuu can. Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu can’t do that too.”

“Hakuryuu? Ryokuryuu?”

“There’re four of us. Five actually, but Hiryuu doesn’t have any special power. Hiryuu is kind of hopeless. That’s why Hiryuu needs to be protected. That’s why we have our powers.”

“So, Hiryuu is the reason I’m cursed?”

Zeno suddenly seemed sad.

Seiryuu wondered why. Even if he was smiling, he seemed like he’s about to cry.

“Seiryuu isn’t cursed. It’s just a misunderstanding.”

He said as response, his gentle hand running through Seiryuu’s hair and Seiryuu bit back other questions he wanted to ask him. At least, about Hiryuu, Seiryuu thought it’d be better to not ask. Zeno didn’t seem to like to talk about him.

“Zeno’s power. What is it?”

“Ah, Zeno is different than the other dragons. Zeno can’t do anything, but I’m sturdy.”

“Sturdier than my power?”

“Hehehe, that’s right. Ao had never lied to Seiryuu, and everything he said is true. It’s Zeno who’s weird.”

Seiryuu agreed wholeheartedly, and so he nodded. Zeno's the weirdest person he'd met in his life. He laughed again and only then did Seiryuu realized. Zeno kept on staring at him, at his eyes. Instinctively, he looked down, trying to avert his gaze.

Weird weird weird...

Even though he should test it... use the chance to devour Zeno's heart...

“... are you sturdier... than Ao's sword?”

“Most likely.”

“I see...”

Then...

“If I devour Zeno's heart, will it kill Zeno?”

Zeno moved his hand and placed it on his chest. Seiryuu could feel his heartbeat in his fingers, gentle and calm...

“When you're not paralyzed anymore, Zeno will let you try as promised.”

Seiryuu forced himself to nod.

* * *

 

The steady heartbeat and warmth radiating from Zeno's body calmed him somewhat, lulling him to sleep.

He pretended not to notice the prayer which his mind made as he wished for the moment to last forever.

He knew it couldn't be, but still.

It ended far sooner than expected.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

In his haze, Seiryuu saw a dream.

He was laying in a field full of corpses. He couldn’t move. But it’s alright. For some reason, he was relieved.

He could hear footsteps. It’s the villagers, somehow he knew. Maybe because their voices too could be heard, despite it being hazy. Angry… scared… and…

Someone lifted him. Instinctively, he gripped the cloth that came in touch with his palm. That someone held him carefully, but Seiryuu was too dazed to find it unusual. It’s nice. He could smell the scent of summer, and he could feel nostalgic warmth too.

“…  _what is the meaning of this?”_

* * *

A loud sound jolted Seiryuu awake.

Someone was banging on his door. Only one person would do that. He tried to stand. He’s still weak, but he figured if he could lean on the wall he’d be able to get there, but Zeno pushed him down gently.

“I’ll get it,” he said, and went before Seiryuu could protest. The banging continued again, and Seiryuu was too startled to say anything, even though he’d had expected it to come.

Still, Seiryuu grabbed his mask and forced himself to crawl after Zeno. The yellow haired boy was blocking his view, but it was certainly Dol, one of the villagers. He’s the one the Elders usually told to come to the hut, whether it’s to deliver rations or news or order. The poor person who got the short end of the stick for some reason.

“You… you’re still here?!”

He sounded shocked. Well, Seiryuu supposed Zeno staying until now, until the sun nearly set was shocking.

“I can stay for as long as I want. That’s what you lot told me. What do you want?”

Zeno didn’t sound impressed, and his tone was different with what he used to speak to Seiryuu. It’s weird and a bit scary. He couldn’t imagine it at all. Zeno’s tone reminded him of Ao. Ao used to speak to Dol like that too. But…

Ao’s expression… on Zeno’s face… Seiryuu couldn’t imagine it at all.

“… we’ve decided on where to move. I was told to get the  _traitor_.”

The emphasis made Seiryuu squirmed. He’s used to be called names. Monster was the most often, but it’s the first time he’d been called a ‘traitor’. But he couldn’t deny it too. Zeno was still there, still alive and well after all. Ao told him to kill everyone. The villagers too expected him to kill everyone.

Maybe, Zeno included.

No, certainly Zeno included. Maybe he was even led into his hut in hope that Seiryuu would kill him immediately.

Hurry up, he had to hurry up and get better… and then he had to find ways to kill him. Zeno said Ao’s sword wouldn’t kill him, but there’s nothing wrong with trying. And, he could try to use his eyes on Zeno again, see if devouring his heart would work or not.

Looking up, Dol’s eyes were on his, hateful like always and Seiryuu couldn’t hold back the whimper that came from his mouth, alerting Zeno of his new position.

When Zeno turned around, there’s a moment when Seiryuu could see nothing but rage in his eyes.

“Seiryuu, you’re not supposed to move around yet,” he heard Zeno chided exasperatedly before going to him and lifting him up, his hands as gentle and warm and nice as before. Instinctively, he gripped on his clothes and pressed his masked face to Zeno’s chest.

“… I’m sorry,” he said shakily, because he knew himself how wrong it was, to seek reassurance from Zeno of all people. How must it look to others. Zeno said it’s fine as he rubbed his back soothingly, but Seiryuu himself wasn’t sure if the apology he uttered was meant for Zeno or not.

How easy was he, to be this attached to a stranger in less than a day?

The sound of bells calmed him down somewhat, but at the same time it made him wonder what Ao would say to him. Probably he would yell at him, about how stupid he’s being.

He couldn’t see it, but he was sure that Dol was not impressed too. He could feel Dol’s anger and hatred on his small back.

“Get… Seiryuu? You mean everyone’s ready to move?”

“We’re told to only take the valuables. It’s that dire.”

“And you’re only here now?!”

Zeno tensed. Seiryuu could feel it clearly. His voice too, sounded more and more like Ao when he’s angry. Ao was easily angered, but Dol ticked him the fastest. Seiryuu didn’t understand why too.

There’s not many words exchanged between them yet, and Zeno was already this tense.

Kind warm and always smiling Zeno… to see him angry...

Somehow, it’s a bit scary.

Maybe Zeno could sense his distress, because Seiryuu could feel him taking a deep breath in attempt to force his body to relax. His hands held Seiryuu tighter, but at that point Seiryuu didn’t know whether it’s to calm him or because Zeno was trying hard not to use them to break something.

Ao broke things too, usually after he’s talking to Dol.

“… you will wait here.”

“Hey, I need-”

Zeno slammed the door shut before Dol could finish his sentence, the loud voice startled Seiryuu and making him flinch.

“Three days, and they only told you now…”

Upon hearing Zeno’s sigh, the other thing that Dol said came to mind.

“Everyone… is moving?”

He asked uncertainly. It took few moment for Zeno to answer.

“Yeah. Everyone is afraid that more soldiers will come.”

Seiryuu nodded in understanding.

That’d make sense. Seiryuu supposed… it’s something necessary. He had killed an army after all. Even if he’d killed everyone, a missing army would definitely be suspicious.

Maybe there’d be a search party.

Maybe more would come…

More to ki-

Seiryuu gasped and gripped Zeno’s clothes tighter, teeth already gritted as he tried to force the thought away. No, he wouldn’t go there. He knew now, why Ao said he couldn’t use his power ever. He wouldn’t. Not again. Leaving was the only way to avoid possibly incoming soldiers, he supposed.

Pack the valuables… Seiryuu looked around his mostly bare hut. There’s nothing of value there, he supposed. But, if possible, he wanted to bring Ao’s stuffs with him. His sword, his mask, his accessories… His clothes too.

Seiryuu was wondering how he should pack, and how to bring everything to the village and possibly carry them to wherever the Elders had decided to move to, when Zeno put him down on his cot and sat across of him. His face seemed unnaturally solemn.

“Seiryuu, first I’d like to apologize.”

“…?”

“This is something I want to ask you when you’re better, if possible maybe even long after that, but we have no time. Even if I don’t like it, they’re right to move. Of course, I think we still have few more days until the missing platoon is even noticed, but there’s nothing wrong in wanting to evacuate early.”

Although he still thought it’s wrong to only tell Seiryuu when everyone’s ready, he added under his breath.

“It’s… quick,” he said in wonder. He didn’t think they’d decide on a place and issue orders about it in less than a day too. Ao always said that the villagers were morons, but apparently they needed more credit, Seiryuu decided. Also, it couldn’t be helped if they’d prioritize on themselves.

After what happened, it’s a wonder that they would even come to get him.

Although maybe it’s because they’re feeling like it’s better to have him under watch? Seiryuu thought it’s a reasonable excuse. He didn't want to be scared of things he couldn’t see too.

Zeno seemed guilty though when he said, “not exactly.”

“Seiryuu, you were unconscious for three days.”

Seiryuu was stunned.

“Three… days?”

Zeno nodded, and said it’s most likely because Seiryuu wasn’t used to use his power, and basically his body couldn’t handle the stress after he used his power at a surprisingly large scale. The explanation was not fully registered in Seiryuu's mind though, not when there's something even more surprising said by Zeno.

“Zeno has been with me… for three days?”

“I’d like to say yes, but I had to leave you few times. You were feverish at one point, and I need to get some herbs and more water.”

Behind his mask, Seiryuu frown in confusion. Suddenly Zeno’s action earlier, when he placed his palm at Seiryuu’s forehead when he first panicked, made sense. Why there was water in his kitchen even though he didn’t remember having a bucket full when he left to fight the army too…

But... more than that...

His worry, his fastened heartbeat... it's because of that?

“Why...?”

“They help cool down feverish people.”

He wasn't asking about that, but Zeno answered it without hesitation and it's baffling how he could easily say that as if Seiryuu was a person. As if he wasn't a monster. Even though it's a perfect opportunity for Zeno to kill him, or maybe take him away to sell him, like so many bad people wanted to do to him...

“Seiryuu, do you want to go with the villagers?”

Zeno asked as Seiryuu was still trying to reason with it, and the question stopped his train of thought.

“... eh?”

“This is important, Seiryuu. Think about it carefully.”

“Think... about what?”

“About staying with everyone else. About going with them. Is it something you want, Seiryuu?”

What he... wanted?

Seiryuu was never asked something like it, and so he couldn't even understand the question.

Being with everyone was natural. It's the only place he could be.

Seiryuu looked down to find his hands trembling as he gripped on his cot. He wondered why. It's hard. He wanted to say 'yes' so badly. It's obviously the answer. Ao told him to be careful, always. Outsiders, strangers, would only harm him. He couldn't leave... and despite everything everyone wouldn't harm him. He had to repay them. He had to protect them.

“I... want friends...,” he said instead, because it's the only thing he'd ever wanted. Because he honestly couldn't answer Zeno's question any other way.

Ao's answer echoed in his mind.

Even if he used his sword and not his eye power, he wouldn't be able to make friends, he'd said.

“Seiryuu, you won't be able to make friends,” Zeno said, not unlike how Ao said it. Seiryuu nodded in understanding. He'd known from the start. Maybe even since before Ao said it clearly to his face.

“The misunderstanding about your power is too rooted here, they won't ever change their minds.”

Seiryuu nodded again.

Ao had said something similar too.

But Zeno's next words were different.

“Let's look for friends somewhere else then.”

Surprised, Seiryuu looked up. Zeno was smiling, but he didn't seem like he's joking.

“Seiryuu is cute and warm. You're not scary at all. I'm sure somewhere else, there'd be a lot of people who agree with me, and I'm sure they'd want to be friends with Seiryuu too. I'll definitely find them for you. So, Seiryuu, you don't have to force yourself.”

“... too?”

“Of course. Zeno wants to be friends with Seiryuu after all.”

Zeno's smile widened as he went to hold Seiryuu's hands. He squeezed them gently.

“Zeno... wants to be my friend?”

“Obviously.”

“But I... I'm a monster, and... I've been wanting to-”

“Seiryuu isn't a monster. It's a misunderstanding. Beside, Zeno has told you, right? Zeno is similar to Seiryuu. So it's fine. To the villagers, Zeno is a monster too. They're expecting you to kill me, apparently.”

“I've been... trying... and-”

“Yeah. Seiryuu is smart and kind, so he can know what the others want without having to be told anything. Zeno knows. Zeno likes that about Seiryuu. You're working hard on it too.”

“...”

“From the bad people outside too, you don't have to be afraid. Zeno can't do much, but I'll definitely protect Seiryuu. But even if I say this, Seiryuu is a nice boy, aren't you? Ao told you not to trust strangers, didn't he?”

Seiryuu nodded uncertainly.

“That's why I want to apologize. If possible, I want to ask this kind of question later. But, Seiryuu, we have no time. _I_ have no time. I can't go with you if you choose to stay with everyone. I'll only worsen everyone's perception of you. I can't do that to you.”

“... Zeno's leaving?”

“I can't stay in one place for long, and I don't think it's a good idea to be with Seiryuu in this village. Zeno has to leave. But Zeno doesn't mind Seiryuu coming with Zeno. Rather, I really wish you would.”

The hands holding his were trembling.

Zeno's smile was faltering.

He's... scared.

Seiryuu stared dumbfoundedly as his mind worked hard to process Zeno's words and visible emotion. With each second that passed, more and more sign of distress from Zeno could be seen. Seiryuu could see his muscles tensing... his eyes gazing downwards and refusing to meet his... his hitching breaths...

Zeno felt cold.

And then, Seiryuu decided.

“I understand.”

“... I see.”

He nodded in confirmation.

“I want to bring... Ao's stuffs...”

His answer seemed to have hurt Zeno. His eyes turned glassy in an instant and he stopped breathing altogether for few seconds and it scared Seiryuu a bit. Before he could ask though, Zeno looked up and met his eyes again, and the sudden movement surprised him enough to forget what he's about to say.

“Alright. Seiryuu, you can stay here. I'll pack them for you. You still can't move properly, right? Just tell me where they are, okay?”

Zeno let him go with a forced smile, and Seiryuu nodded again.

The bells sounded louder for some reason.

Seiryuu tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his chest as he tell Zeno where everything was being kept, all the while kept on asking for forgiveness inside.

When everything was ready, Zeno had a big sack slumped on his shoulder filled with Ao's stuffs, he went to Seiryuu and picked him up. He held him tighter than ever, and Seiryuu too used every bit of strength he had regained to press himself against Zeno.

“I'm... sorry... Zeno...”

He said against his chest. Like before, Zeno only said that it's alright, it's fine, it's not Seiryuu's fault, and listening to his shaky voice made Seiryuu want to apologize even more. Before he could say more though, Zeno exclaimed suddenly that they need to get going soon.

“Zeno... do you mind... coming with me to see everyone?”

“Only if you'll let me hold you like this all the way there.”

Seiryuu nodded without hesitation.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Each of Zeno's steps was followed by the ringing of the bells tied to Seiryuu's mask.

It was like Ao was trying to tell him something.

Seiryuu couldn't understand him, and so he said nothing.

 

* * *

 

In his mind, he kept on muttering apologies.

He wondered if Ao heard him.

 

* * *

 

Dol walked five pace ahead.

Seiryuu didn't know whether it's because he wanted to hurry back so he wouldn't have to be with the two monsters (although Seiryuu couldn't understand why Zeno was monstrous in the villagers' eyes) or because he hadn't done any packing himself. The other villagers didn't seem to like him very much too. If he hadn't, maybe he'd be left behind.

Seiryuu decided he'd try to ask them to wait for him later.

Looking up, the sky was already painted with red.

Beautiful dark red... the color of hearts he wanted and yet dreaded to stop.

He could see for a split second the heart thumping inside Zeno's chest.

He screwed his eyes shut.

The thumping sound was loud to his ears for some reason. Gentle and somehow painful sounding.

“The moon is beautiful tonight,” Zeno commented.

It's not yet night, the sky was still bright and he could still feel the warmth of sunrays in his skin. But Seiryuu was able to see the moon indeed. Faint, round and small, accompanied by a single twinkling little star which only he could probably see.

“... yeah.”

“It's full moon. That's good. The path will be well-lit then.”

Seiryuu nodded in agreement.

At least, it'd help in the way. At night, wild beasts would come out to hunt after all. Seiryuu would normally object to having to move at night, it's dangerous, but he supposed attracting soldiers' attention by moving at day would be just asking for trouble.

Although maybe, to the villagers it's probably more troubling and scarier to see him with Zeno than if they found either a pack of wolves or an army about to attack them. At sight of him being carried by Zeno, the villagers all rushed away, backing off even further than usual. Their faces turned pale and ashen, and the children were trembling behind their parents. The men's hands went to their daggers, which were always placed on their body.

Their eyes though, not focused on Seiryuu like usual.

Zeno shifted and fixed his hold of him, and even without seeing his face Seiryuu knew that he's glaring back at them, just like how Ao would always do that whenever he's summoned.

“Lord Seiryuu. You are here.”

Seiryuu nodded in acknowledgment at the Elder's words. He's the only one who seemed calm, at least compared to the others. But Seiryuu could tell though, that despite his seemingly stern exterior, his hands gripped his cane tighter.

Which was weird, because he'd never done that before. Not when Ao was there, and certainly not when he talked to Seiryuu.

Zeno...?

Somehow the realization made him curious. What exactly happened during the three days he was unconscious? What did Zeno do to them?

He glanced at Zeno's face and then to the villagers, before silently asking Zeno with a tug to be let down. It's best to not let Zeno any closer to the villagers, he decided. When his feet touched the ground, with a relieved sigh he found out that enough strength had returned to him to walk without having to lean to anything even if his balance was still skewed.

“Wait... I'll be right back...”

He said as he prepared to let go of Zeno's warm hands. The older boy squeezed his once before taking a step back and murmured an acknowledgment.

Seiryuu then walked (or maybe hobbled was better put) to the Elder. Eyes were on him, but for some reason Seiryuu couldn't feel the usual discomfort. There's warmth on his back, and it felt a lot like when he laid around near bonfire with Ao on a particularly cold day.

A single small presence was enough. Anymore would be dangerous, Ao had said when he asked to make the fire bigger.

Seiryuu only realized the truth then.

“I'm sorry... I've kept you waiting,” he said with a slight bow when he'd arrived in front of the Elder. There were murmurs that he could hear, disappointment, rage, and fear because even he couldn't kill Zeno. The disappointment and rage he could understand, but the fear was a bit confusing.

Zeno was scary... because he could survive being with Seiryuu for days?

For some reason, he didn't think that's it though.

“... Lord Seiryuu. Have you forgotten our rules?”

“I haven't.”

“I see. Then, why is he still here?”

His voice promised punishment Seiryuu knew was already planned for him. He glanced back unconsciously, his bells rang due to the sudden movement, and met Zeno's eyes.

Zeno smiled at him, and it was as if Seiryuu could hear his unsaid words. It's alright, I'm here, I'll wait until the end so take your time...

“I couldn't... I can't kill Zeno,” he said, and was surprised himself at how relieved he was that it's the case. Even the Elder's narrowed eyes couldn't make him feel slightly bit guilty.

“I tried. My power didn't work on Zeno.”

It became loud in an instant. The villagers seemed even more fearful. Their faces turned pale and some men even took out their daggers. Some children started to cry. As expected... Zeno was the cause.

He wondered why.

Zeno was so warm and kind. He's not scary at all.

Just like Ao.

Well, Ao was a bit scary when he's mad, so Seiryuu had to admit to imagine Zeno like him was scary too. But, Zeno didn't strike him as the type to be easily offended, unlike Ao. Then again, he seemed like he didn't like the villagers very much.

Seiryuu got even more curious. Exactly what happened?

“But Zeno... he won't come, so it's alright. Zeno will leave, so it's fine.”

“Those who know of-”

“I remember.”

Seiryuu cut him off before the Elder could finish his sentence.

“Those who know of Seiryuu's existence must be disposed of. I haven't forgotten.”

“Then-”

“Then nothing. I won't try again. I'm not... I don't want to find another way. I'm not killing Zeno.”

The Elder went rigid.

“... I'm not. I won't kill you nor the others too, even though you know about me. I won't chase... after those I know have fled the village while I'm unconscious too... That's what I've decided.”

Seiryuu knew from one glance.

The number of villagers was less than what he remembered. He couldn't find some familiar faces too.

Ao said the most moronic thing the villagers could do was that, so Seiryuu had to stay alert. Those idiots would blab whatever to anyone, and usually if there were bandits, it's because of them.

That's why, Seiryuu had to make sure no one leave.

It's as important as not trusting strangers.

His chest ached as he remembered Ao's warnings, and he was glad no one could see his face because he was sure from how blurry everything was that tears had welled in his eyes.

_'I'm sorry... Ao, I'm sorry...'_

Ao loved these people. Ao had protected them.

Ao said he'd be safe with them.

And Seiryuu believed him. He still did. He wouldn't stop believing, he thought. Ao never lied. Everything he'd said was the truth... and even if his words sometimes pained him, Seiryuu knew that Ao was equally hurt.

Ao's heartbeat, Ao's clearly shown emotions...

Ao's apology...

He bowed down then, and the sound of bells made him breathless.

“I'm sorry for everything, and I thank you for everything. I'm not going with you. I'm going with Zeno. I'm leaving the village.”

 

* * *

 

_Ao, someone came for me._

_He said he came because he'd promised that he would. I don't remember, but he seemed familiar._

_He's so similar to you, Ao._

_Like Ao, he's kind, and warm... and he knows about my power too. Even more than myself._

_When he's mad, he sounded like Ao too. You know, he doesn't seem to like Dol too._

_He said he's the same as us, Ao. He said he's Ouryuu._

_He said he's a monster too, like me._

_He said something about there being others like us, about Hakuryuu, Ryokuryuu, and Hiryuu._

_Hiryuu is the reason we're cursed, apparently, but Zeno seemed sad when I asked that so I couldn't bring myself to ask for details._

_Ah, Zeno is his name. For some reason, he can still move even after I devoured his hand. For some reason, he worried for me when I was unconscious. He's a weird person._

_But Ao, I like him._

_Even though you told me to not trust strangers... even though you told me to kill them..._

_Ao, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..._

_But Ao, he told me I could come with him..._

_He said he wanted me to come with him..._

_He said he'd help me look for friends..._

_Ao, I don't understand. I can't hear you anymore, just as you can't see me anymore. Maybe you're mad. Maybe you're telling me to not go with him, because he's probably tricking me... and will kill me as soon as he can..._

_But Ao, he'd had the chance. He didn't do it, Ao._

_So... so, I'm sorry, Ao. I'm sorry I'm going to not do what you taught me._

_And, it's alright._

_Ao... you don't have to feel sorry anymore... I won't be alone anymore after all..._

_So, Ao..._

_I'm sorry... and then..._

_Thank you..._

 

* * *

 

Seiryuu blinked the tears on his eyes away, breathed out, and raised his head.

The Elder, and everyone else was struck silent. Even though they were so loud before, they could only stared in disbelief at him. Seiryuu saw some of them quivering. Some of them nearly smiled and seemed like they couldn't believe that they're hearing things they've been wanting to hear for so long.

“I'm not... going with you... and I won't ask where you're going to. I won't look for you either. I'm sorry you have to move because of me. But, I am leaving, and I won't come back, so it won't happen again. I promise. So...”

Seiryuu bit his lip as he waited for response. The Elder, as well as everyone else, seemed like they saw this as good thing. They've been wanting his disappearance, and the disappearance of all Seiryuu before him after all. Even so, there were rules and traditions, and everything else they claimed to have to uphold.

It's alright... Ao said they're mostly only saying that... Ao said they're hypocrites, and it's proven by the number of escapees even though the rule explicitly said they can't leave the village...

But then, a man came forward and whispered to the Elder's ear.

“Elder, if we let him, then who will care for the next Seiryuu?”

Even so, it was so quiet that it was as if he was screaming his words.

“The curse won't disappear even with him leaving! We have tried, our stories have told what happen when we banished a Seiryuu! A new one will-”

“You don't have to worry about that.”

Seiryuu gasped in surprise when suddenly he's held and picked up. He couldn't hear Zeno's steps at all. Zeno smiled at him, seemingly relieved and happier than ever, before turning to everyone else.

“Seiryuu might not want to find you, but I promise that I will.”

His hold tightened but his face was still adorned by smile. Maybe because of that though, Seiryuu was surprised. At the beginning, towards Dol and the other villagers... Zeno seemed to hate them so much that he always lost his smile when they're in sight. But now...

“When the new Seiryuu is born, I'll come and get him. No matter where he is, I'll find him. As if I'd let you hurt him again.”

Zeno's smile turned feral looking in an instant, his fangs visible, and his next words were like a curse.

Seiryuu was the cursed being, and if that's so, then there's no doubt to Seiryuu that in the villagers' mind at that time was that Zeno was the evil spirit who cursed them in the first place.

“I am Ouryuu Zeno, and as you have witnessed, I am the one who cannot die. And I will find you no matter where you are, no matter how long has passed. I will know what you have done to your benefactor, Seiryuu, and I promise you punishment in accordance to the damage you caused.”

Seiryuu felt chill down his spine, and he wasn't the one being threatened.

Zeno stared at them coldly for a moment longer before turning around and walking away, not letting anyone respond to his declaration. Not even Seiryuu, who was struck speechless like everyone else.

“Ze... no?”

“Hm?”

When he called him though, Zeno's smile was already kind like most of the time he'd seen him smile. He found himself wanting to ask so much. What happened? Did you mean it?

What did you promise, really? Who did you promise it to? And why would you do this far?

Many more... a lot of questions came into Seiryuu's mind.

“What's wrong, Seiryuu?”

In the end though, he decided that it's not time yet to know, and so what he asked was instead...

“Where are we going?”

Zeno looked up to the darkening sky and hummed as if in thought.

“To be honest, I haven't had a clue.”

He answered after a while with a laugh.

For some reason, Seiryuu didn't feel worried.

 

* * *

 

They found a clearing, and Zeno decided that they'd camp there for the night. Seiryuu just nodded and let himself be placed in a stump and just sat there as he saw Zeno setting things up. The older boy hummed as he went to the trees, glancing back occasionally to flash Seiryuu his wide smile, to pick up some firewood.

Zeno lit the fire with ease, as if he'd used to do it all the time. It's impressive. Ao had difficulty doing it, so he never did it except for that one time on a particularly cold winter night.

He spread the blanket next, put Seiryuu's fluff on top of it (made by Ao from animals' fur) and while laughing giddily he went to move Seiryuu to settle together on it with him. As expected, Zeno held him tight and giggled against his shoulder.

Looking up, the sky was almost white in his eyes due to the number of stars visible. It was an unusually clear night with no cloud even to his sight.

Ao always said it's a bad sign. That means there would probably no rain for a long time. Seiryuu found himself liking the starry sky though. It's so pretty. The moon too, seemed bigger and brighter and prettier...

“... hey, Seiryuu?”

Zeno suddenly called him who was dazed by the unusually pretty sky, and Seiryuu felt him backing a little.

He tried to turn to Zeno, but it's uncomfortable though because his mask pushed into his skull, and so he adjusted it with difficulty since his fingers were still quite sluggish by loosening the string keeping it in place.

He only realized it after he's satisfied with his adjustment.

Zeno was staring at him with unreadable face. He was smiling, and yet for some reason it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

“Seiryuu... I'm sorry, but can you pinch my cheek?”

Seiryuu was confused as to why Zeno would ask such a thing, but he did it anyway. It shouldn't hurt anyway, he's obviously weaker than Zeno, and his strength hadn't returned completely.

“Like this...?”

“Hm...”

Zeno breathed in a lungful of air and closed his eyes. Confused, for the time being, Seiryuu decided to pinch his cheek again, both of them this time. Repeatedly.

After few times, he stopped, surprised because a droplet of water had landed on his thumb.

“It doesn't hurt,” he said with a smile, but Seiryuu could barely understand him.

Zeno was crying...

As he smiled and laughed, tears wouldn't stop falling.

“Seiryuu... I'm not dreaming, am I?”

“...?”

“It doesn't hurt at all, so I can't tell. But you're really here, aren't you? I'm not just imagining you right?”

“...I'm here.”

“I see. If you say so, then it must be true.”

“Yeah. It's true. I'm here with Zeno.”

Zeno let out a choked sound before laughing even harder. He told him then, what he felt earlier.

“Seiryuu asked Zeno... is it alright? Can I bring this too? Isn't it too heavy? You asked those to Zeno and not... not the villager. I was glad, but... Zeno was afraid too. What if it's just me thinking it? What if... So when Seiryuu said clearly that he wants to come with Zeno...”

He was trembling...

“The truth is... even now, Zeno still can't fully believe it... but, it can't be otherwise, right? Nothing else is as warm and cute as Seiryuu after all. Silly Zeno for doubting.”

“I'm not cute, and Zeno's warm too.”

“Zeno is?”

“Yeah.”

“That's the first time I've heard of it. This is bad. Does this mean Zeno will need to hold back from holding Seiryuu in the summer?”

“... if I say 'yes', would Zeno stop?”

“Probably not.”

“Then I won't say anything. As long as I can still breathe, I don't really mind.”

“Alrighty then. Zeno will make sure of that even when it's cold.”

“And I want to walk at one point.”

“Eeeh?”

“... so I thought right.”

“I don't get to hold Seiryuu when I walk? That's a tragedy.”

“I'll let you hold my hand, but that's it.”

“Hold hands?”

“Yeah.”

“... well, I guess Zeno can live with that.”

He sighed exaggeratedly, and seemingly so disappointed that Seiryuu wondered if he was joking or not. Zeno laughed again after that too, and made him even more confused. But he couldn't even begin to try to understand him, not when Zeno had decided to press his face to Seiryuu's chest and thus hid his expression and emotion from Seiryuu.

Seiryuu felt his clothes getting wet.

Zeno was... still crying.

“Seiryuu...”

“...?”

“Thank you. For being here... thank you...”

Seiryuu moved his tiny hands to Zeno's neck and nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Being outside was nice, Seiryuu decided. Everything surrounding him was pretty and comforting, and it's wide and the air felt fresh.

Being with Zeno too... as expected, it's nice.

It's nice to be greeted in the morning. It's nice to eat with someone. It's nice to not be feared.

Last night, Zeno cried and asked if he wasn't just dreaming Seiryuu being there with him. Seiryuu told him that it's not a dream, he really was there with Zeno, but the truth was, Seiryuu kept on asking himself and Ao the same question.

He did leave the village, right?

Zeno really exist right? Zeno really came to him, cared for him, and asked him to go with him... right?

Somehow, it felt nice, so nice that he couldn't really believe it too.

He didn't sleep. He was afraid if he closed his eyes and sleep, then the dream would end.

He did sleep in the afternoon, so it's not too hard. At that time, maybe he was lucky, he got to see the continuance of his dream... but Seiryuu was afraid that it wouldn't happen again.

Maybe, he'd wake up to find himself still in his hut.

Or maybe he'd find himself being punished by the Elder.

Alone... as expected...

“Hey, Seiryuu? Are you listening?”

Seiryuu nodded dazedly.

He was discussing with Zeno about their plans from now on.

Zeno said that he'd been traveling leisurely for a very long time, just wandering around without any real destination in mind, and he's actually planning on keep doing that from now on too. Even so, since Seiryuu wanted to find friends, he thought of settling down somewhere.

“Let's find it, right, Seiryuu? A place where no one knows about the lies about your power... a place where many people who can see your cuteness live in.”

He said it with his usual kind smile, and Seiryuu could only nod as he eat the fruits Zeno had given him.

(He didn't think he's cute, but he figured rebuking Zeno was a lost cause)

He wondered if such place existed. A place... where he could be accepted...

As he was, as a monster...

Unconsciously, he touched his mask. His bells rang once when his hand bumped them.

“It's alright. Seiryuu's eyes are the prettiest after all. Seiryuu doesn't have to hide them. Anyone would love them.”

Zeno said it with a wide encouraging smile, and it's as if Seiryuu could hear the silent addition in his words. It's alright, what happened with the villagers won't happen again, so he shouldn't worry and just forget about them and their rules...

He looked down though, and shook his head. The bells rang with his movement.

“... I don't... want to... show them...”

No, that's not right either.

“I don't... want to see... anyone clearly...”

“Why?”

“Because... I might not be able to... stop myself... I'll want to... see their hearts and devour them...”

“Have you done that? Devour people's hearts?”

It took a moment before Seiryuu could bring himself to nod and answer.

“I have... the soldiers... and... almost everyone...”

Zeno's too, he almost said, but didn't.

“I see. Then, Seiryuu has never done it.”

Zeno's hand was already on the crown of his head when he realized it, rubbing the spot gently. His smile hadn't faltered, still kind like always even though Seiryuu had basically admitted to finding delight in using his power to kill the people he's supposed to protect. Even though he had half-expected Zeno to find him repulsive and change his mind and leave him alone because of it.

“Zeno, didn't you hear? I said... I have... right?”

“Yeah. But you said you've only done it to the soldiers, right? Seiryuu, you wanted and did it to protect everyone right? And even if it's true and you wanted to devour the villagers too, Seiryuu didn't, right? You stopped yourself, right?”

Uncertainly, Seiryuu nodded.

“Right? That's why, it's alright. Seiryuu didn't lose yourself. Zeno doesn't think you'll ever will. Seiryuu learned it from Ao, didn't you? Ao must be so proud of you!”

“...”

“What's with that disbelieved face?”

“Zeno... is weird. Either that, or you're just saying that.”

“Where did that come from? Zeno _is_ weird though, so it's alright. And Zeno wasn't lying! You're really a strong, kind, and cute boy! There's no way Ao wouldn't be proud of you!”

“...”

“Really! But, Seiryuu, Zeno said you don't have to force yourself, right? If you're uncomfortable, then you don't have to do it. Zeno will keep on reminding you that it's no problem even if you see everyone's hearts though. Rather, it's a good thing.”

“Weird. Zeno said Ao would be proud while on the same breath told me to ignore Ao.”

“Eh? When did I say that?”

Zeno seemed truly surprised and confused that Seiryuu was confused himself.

“Correct Zeno, but the villagers said you've been told to not use your power, and you're scary because you did anyway. Zeno was under impression that Ao told Seiryuu to not devour anyone, but did he told you to not see anyone too?”

“I... he didn't say anything about it... I think...”

“Right? Ao must have thought that if you're going to fight alone, you mustn't use your power. When paralyzed, Seiryuu is vulnerable after all. That's why he told you to never use it. But to see, well, there's no reason to not use it. Let loose, Zeno suggest. It'll feel good, you know?”

“...”

“Are you worried after all? Seiryuu can try seeing Zeno's heart if you want. Then Seiryuu will be convinced too, right? It's alright, you won't be wanting to devour it. Zeno trusts Seiryuu, so Seiryuu can trust himself and Zeno too.”

The words sounded weird.

The feeling of wanting to devour, it won't come, Zeno had said confidently with a smile. He said that, instead of he'd be fine even if Seiryuu devoured his heart. How could he say it like that, Seiryuu wondered.

Zeno was weird, as expected. As he wondered what could possibly made him say that, like he felt like he'd known Seiryuu completely. Even though they only started talking yesterday...

He asked Seiryuu to join him too, and was obviously happy that he accepted. Seiryuu felt bad for trusting him so fast, to feel attached to a stranger in hours, but maybe Zeno was even weirder. After all, Seiryuu didn't think he'd ask Zeno to live with him no matter how nice he thought Zeno was.

He was wondering that, but apparently Zeno thought he's thinking about something else. He put his hand on Seiryuu's chest and closed his eyes.

“Seiryuu's heart is beating steadily and strongly, Seiryuu is healthy,” he said serenely, and he seemed truly proud of his obvious discovery. He laughed sheepishly as he removed his hand then.

“Zeno can only tell this way, and through my gut feeling maybe, but you can tell by seeing, right? Someone who told me about your power said that he could, and it's very convenient because there're times when it's hard to tell from touch. Zeno is envious. Zeno wishes he could see Seiryuu's heart too.”

“...”

“So you see, Seiryuu. Zeno said it's fine to not show your eyes, and Zeno won't force Seiryuu to not wear your mask, but Seiryuu has to understand that it's not a terrible power too. Zeno will do my best to convince Seiryuu on that one at least! It's not good if you misunderstand too, you know?”

Seiryuu looked down and nodded uncertainly. His bells rang due to the movement.

Zeno pat him and told him he's a good boy again, before giving him more fruits because apparently good boys had to eat more.

Dazedly, he ate the sweet fruits Zeno had given him.

“Right! Anyway, now that it's settled, let's go to the nearest village. Zeno thinks we'll need a map at least. Sure, we can walk randomly, but it'll be better if we can pick fastest routes to villages or towns.”

“... Zeno has no map?”

“Zeno's been leisurely wandering around. Since Zeno had no destination, Zeno figured map was unnecessary.”

It was then that Seiryuu noticed.

He stared suspiciously at Zeno's small bag and curiosity overcame him and he couldn't help himself. When he realized it, he was already inspecting it, peeking inside without asking Zeno first, while Zeno himself just sat there and laughed sheepishly.

Seiryuu wasn't an expert in traveling, but he knew what's usually necessary to be brought. He'd seen camps set by bandits after all. That's why beside Ao's stuffs, he also had Zeno packed his blanket and filled few flasks of water among other things.

Zeno's bags... was filled with herbs.

Only those.

Seiryuu remembered Zeno admitting to leaving him at some point to get some medicinal herb because he was feverish, and so Seiryuu connected the dots pretty quickly.

“Zeno... you're... incredible.”

“Zeno's not that impressive, but thank you for the compliment!”

Seiryuu wasn't complimenting him but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

Zeno laughed hard before standing up and deciding to pack up everything while Seiryuu ate, so they could get going quickly before noon. He chided him when Seiryuu hastened because he didn't want to leave everything to Zeno, and told him he had to savor them and be careful because he could choke on them.

“Don't worry and leave all to Zeno!”

He wondered what's wrong with him when he didn't feel a bit worry, even when Zeno tripped on his own feet and fell on his face.

* * *

Seiryuu knew that his things must be heavy, despite some of them being necessary. But, for some reason, Zeno seemed really disappointed when Seiryuu told him that since he's fine and had regained his full strength and control of his body, Zeno didn't have to carry him anymore.

Rather, if possible, please let him walk on his own.

He'd added immediately before Zeno could say that he didn't mind and prefer to hold him because he's warm, cute, or other weird things he'd most likely say.

As promised however, Seiryuu held his hand.

Looking up, Zeno seemed very blissed.

As always, Seiryuu was reminded of Ao. Even though that day when he held Ao hand, Ao was clearly showing different expression.

~~_'What would you do without me, brat?'_ ~~

Seiryuu felt like he could hear him ask that, and so he laughed sheepishly and said that he wouldn't be able to do anything.

So Ao, please don't leave me...

His bell rang, and snapped him out of his daze. His gasp made Zeno worry too, apparently.

“What's wrong, Seiryuu? Are you tired? If you are, Zeno doesn't mind carrying you. No, rather, I want to. Please let me.”

He stubbornly shook his head, his bells ringing with his every movement.

“I'm fine,” and even though Zeno didn't seem convinced didn't ask further and leave it at that.

He was. It's just fatigue.

He wanted to keep walking, he wanted to feel the warmth on his fingertips longer.

Before he couldn't anymore and sleep... before the dream ends...

For the moment though, as he stared ahead while glancing at Zeno's face from time to time, he wondered about Zeno's words earlier. He wondered then if Ao meant it the way Zeno told him when he said he musn't use his power ever again.

Unconsciously, he touched his mask again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

As expected, without a map in the first place, it's hard to find any villages. Seiryuu couldn't see anything too. He wondered how Zeno could find his village in the first place, but he thought it's best not to ask about it. Zeno would probably answer 'through gut feeling' anyway.

Maybe if he could see from atop a tree, he'd be able to spot a village. He said nothing though, mostly because Zeno too, asked nothing.

There's a moment when he asked himself if Zeno asked him due to his eyes, but apparently not. Zeno never seemed like he ever thought of asking Seiryuu to use his eyes for something.

He did say he wouldn't force him to do anything, including taking off his mask. Perhaps in Zeno's mind that included even to look around to ease their travel, even though Seiryuu wouldn't mind doing that to be honest.

Seiryuu was surprised he found himself thinking like that too.

But Zeno, even if he didn't have a map, he seemed to always so sure of where he's going. Seiryuu heard him muttering something about great moon-viewing spot tens of miles away, and he wondered if they'd make it there before sundown too. Seiryuu got the impression then that Zeno knew the forest by heart.

But that's impossible.

No one could possibly be like that. Even if he lied and had been in fact been staying in the forest for a while, there's no way he could remember that wide of area. Even Ao couldn't, and he'd had the best eyes there were.

Zeno... maybe he's really incredible.

“Meat...”

He heard Zeno muttered suddenly. Looking up, he seemed to have closed his eyes and was seemingly deep in thought.

“Yeah, Seiryuu would need lots of meat... Meat is good... Lots of protein, important for growing... the herbs would be enough for seasoning, and it'd taste best grilled... yeah.”

“... Zeno?”

“Zeno can hunt. But still, salt and rice are necessary too... Hm... how much would it cost, Zeno hasn't shopped in a while... Wait, do I even still have money on me? And for... Liquor...”

“Ao said liquor is for adults. Zeno can't drink liquor yet.”

Zeno opened his eyes and turned to him questioningly like he didn't expect Seiryuu to heard his supposedly internal monologue. His smile seemed mischievous when he answered though, like he's saying an inside joke.

“Oh, Zeno knows. It's not for Zeno.”

“I can't drink it too.”

“Of course I wouldn't give it to Seiryuu too. Ao would be so very mad at me if I did.”

“He would...?”

“Yeah. He'll come to Zeno's dream and probably give me an earful.”

He said it like it's something obvious and natural even though Ao had been dead for days now.

“But, we're going to Ryokuryuu Village's direction. Zeno figured it's necessary to greet them and give them souvenir or something. Figured liquor would be the best choice. What do you think, Seiryuu?”

Seiryuu just tilted his head slightly in confusion, his bells rang with the movement.

“I don't know...? Ryokuryuu... what kind of person is he? What is his power? And, Zeno said they, so... who's the other one?”

Zeno looked up and scratched the back of his head.

“That's right. I forgot. Seiryuu doesn't know about the others.”

Seiryuu heard him mumble to the sky. He seemed a bit troubled.

“I'm sorry...”

“It's not Seiryuu's fault. It's no one's fault. Zeno's just wondering how to describe the others best. Zeno's not used to be asked about them, you see? Zeno will, and want to tell you all about them though. Just give a moment to think up words, okay? They'd get mad if Zeno describe them poorly after all.”

Uncertainly, Seiryuu nodded.

Tens of steps later, Zeno started.

“Once, there was a dragon who fell in love with humanity...”

* * *

It's a story of a legend Ao had often mentioned, but never could find the time to tell him. The story of beginning, of why he had his power.

A still on-going story, where the characters were idly waiting for the continuance to happen again.

Zeno said it's alright. There were many more important things Ao had to tell Seiryuu, and Zeno's glad Ao had told him all of those other things.

The things about the legend, it's nothing important, Zeno said. After thousands of years, even though the cast was finally assembled, the play might not continue after all. Nothing might happen after all. He shouldn't think hard about it. About Ryokuryuu, Hakuryuu, and Hiryuu too, it's nothing he should thought hard about. About the liquor too, it's just something he thought he'd give out of courtesy since most likely they're going to pass his village sooner or later.

Somehow, Seiryuu got the impression that if possible, he didn't want to talk about Ryokuryuu. Probably Hakuryuu and Hiryuu too.

Seiryuu noticed it. But...

“Zeno haven't answered my question. What kind of person is Ryokuryuu?”

“Eh? Zeno has told Seiryuu, right? Ryokuryuu can reach the sky with his foot.”

“That's his ability.”

“Ryokuryuu likes to be free. He wouldn't settle down for a long time, until near his time of death.”

“That's the Ryokuryuu from your story. That's... what happened thousands of years ago, right? When the kingdom was founded, right?”

“... yeah. That's right. But you see, Seiryuu in the story and Seiryuu, you're so alike. So...”

“We're... alike?”

“Yeah! So similar! So strong and caring. He worried a lot. About everyone, about Ouryuu and Hiryuu specially though. And despite everything, he tried to shoulder everything alone. The first Seiryuu was that kind of person. Just like Seiryuu, right?”

He worried because he might kill the people he's supposed to protect with his uncontrollable power, and he had no one to rely on anymore with Ao died. He had to do things by himself. Seiryuu wanted to say it so badly, but he bit his lip in order not to.

It did... sound a bit like Ao though.

“Ryokuryuu too, he's the same. He must be. He and his predecessor.”

Zeno's choice of words sounded weird to his ears.

“And that's kind of troubling to be honest. Ryokuryuu liked high grade liquor, and it'd cost at least Seiryuu's weight in gold.”

“But Zeno didn't seem to find me heavy.”

“That's even more saddening. Zeno will have you eat a lot to fix that. Meat. Meat is good, right? Seiryuu likes meat too, right? What kind of meat do you like best? Zeno will hunt it for you.”

“...”

Zeno, he evaded it. He's changing the subject.

“If Zeno's not mistaken, there's river here somewhere close by too. Let's camp by the river for today. We'll have fish for dinner, how's that sound?”

Just like before, Seiryuu couldn't bring himself to ask further.

* * *

Zeno, as expected, was an amazingly weird person.

To fish, he used a branch with string and earthworm tied on it, and he said weird things that didn't make sense as explanation as to why he used those.

Ao fished by going to the water, so Seiryuu did that too.

Zeno seemed surprised, and gave him few warnings though. Ao said similar stuffs before. Then again, the water was only up to Seiryuu's neck. He could reach the bottom, so it's not like he'd drown or anything.

From underwater, everything was blurry even to Seiryuu's eyes. But, he could see Zeno watching him intently.

“Don't go too far, don't go to where I can't see you, alright, Seiryuu?”

He said that earlier, before adding that there could be deep spots and if something happened, Zeno would like to be alerted quickly.

Somehow, Seiryuu thought he meant it more than that.

A school of fish was not far ahead.

He swam to where they were and managed to caught one. When he rose and showed Zeno what he'd caught, Zeno grinned and held up his own.

“See? Told you I'll catch one too.”

Seiryuu made a mental note to observe next time as he swam back to the riverbed.

Weird.

He's out of water, and yet his vision was still blurry. It's nauseating.

Come to think of it, his head felt heavy too. And his eyes were throbbing.

He gave Zeno the fish and closed his eyes, hoping to ease the bad feeling. Zeno had taken the blanket and was about to use it to dry him, but he asked as he was drying his hair. Apparently, Seiryuu's discomfort was clearly shown on his unmasked face.

“What's wrong?”

“I'm... fine... Just... cold...”

Zeno's hand felt cold on his forehead. It's nice. Weird, he's freezing, but... how come Zeno's cold touch felt good?

Come to think of it, before it's like this too. It felt nice before too. But, back then, he felt bad because of it. Now, he didn't hesitate. He leaned forward, and he only realized that his consciousness was fading and that he's losing control of his body after he stumbled forward.

Zeno was already holding him from the start though, so he didn't fall to the ground. Zeno caught him, and carried him away from the riverbed, to where they've set up camp to avoid the tide. It's nice... it felt warm.

“You're feverish again.”

“Is that... so...”

“Yeah. Just a little bit, but... I'm sorry.”

“Why... sorry?”

“I shouldn't have let you swim after all. At least, not now.”

Apparently, even if he'd felt better, Seiryuu hadn't completely recovered. Of course not, what was he thinking, Zeno asked no one in particular with a self-deprecating laugh that's weird to hear. Seiryuu had used his power to defeat an army alone, and in his still paralyzed state, he used it again against Zeno.

That's the strain Seiryuu's body had to endure in the last few days.

And that's excluding the fact that he'd had no time to rest and had been on the road since.

“And...”

There are other things.

In his haze, Seiryuu could somewhat understand even if he could barely hear Zeno.

Even if he thought it's weird, even if he couldn't think clearly because the world was spinning and he felt so bad, it's cold and he couldn't stop gagging...

Of course Zeno would think things like that.

Someone so weird, so unlike everyone he'd known. Someone who's not affected by his power... someone who wanted to be with a monster like him...

Someone who felt guilty... who felt bad when he's sick...

There's no way such person existed in real life.

It's just a dream after all.

* * *

_Aaah, so time's up... as expected, a dream can't last forever..._

_When the dream started... I don't know. After I killed the soldiers... I fainted, then..._

_Maybe... have I been killed? I don't know, I haven't woken up after all._

_Zeno, don't feel bad... it's not your fault... so don't apologize..._

_I'm just... waking up... after all..._

* * *

Seiryuu felt like he's dreaming, but it couldn't be.

Since he'd been dreaming all this while, he must be in reality now. He was in a dark room, he knew because he couldn't see any colors, which had nothing on it.

It felt so cold.

So he wasn't killed... so he's being punished this way...

Realizing it made Seiryuu felt calmer somewhat. Even if he didn't like it, it's too cold and he wanted to see colors, he felt like he deserved it after all. Normally, he'd panic and search for a way out, but due to it being a punishment, he didn't even try. He just looked around to see what's he'd been subjected to.

He spotted a bag on the corner. Looking inside, Ao's clothing and fur were on it.

Ao seemed like he's cold, so he thought that stitching fur to the trim would make him feel warmer. He didn't make it though. Ao died before he could finish.

The stitching... it's bad. He did it in hurry after all.

He wondered when he'd be let to go out.

Probably... won't ever.

He took Ao's clothes and put it around him. It still smelt like Ao. It's nostalgic... In the past, Ao always scold him in the morning after Seiryuu replaced his pillow. It's worth it though. Being held by Ao felt nice and warm, and Seiryuu liked the way he smelt and the sound of his heart.

He couldn't exactly describe it though, how Ao smelt.

He just liked it.

How weird.

He went to the corner then, dragging the clothes like a cape, and sat down and just closed his eyes to help imagine the scene better. After he felt satisfied with his position, he shook his head repeatedly, making his bells rung.

He felt like Ao would hear him if he did it. Ao said he'd know where he was with the bells after all.

“Ao... I saved the villagers. I had to use my power though.”

“We had to move though. Ah, but I have all of your things here. Ao's important things, I'll treasure them.”

He shook his head again.

And again.

And again.

That's weird.

He felt like saying something. There's something important.

A... dream...

Yeah, it's a dream. He saw a dream. It was a wonderful dream. But... why...

He couldn't remember... What happened? What made it wonderful? Even though he felt like he'd decided to not forget about it...

Come to think of it, he couldn't remember much too.

How did he get into the room? A room with no door nor window... Just wall of rocks... Where did the villagers move to... ? How long has passed since the soldiers came?

He tried to look beyond the rocks, but his eyes throbbed and his vision became even more-

Even... more? It's blurry already?

How weird.

“A... a...”

It's hard to breathe too. He was gasping, and words wouldn't come out easily... But, somehow, it's noisy. Someone's crying, screaming in agony. How weird, there's no one there but him. How could he be hearing someone's voice?

Not that it mattered though.

He's getting sleepy.

It's so cold...

* * *

That's weird.

There's coldness in his forehead, but it's nice and right. And he felt pleasantly warm too.

“Seiryuu, I've boiled the medicinal herb. Please, you have to drink it. Can you sit for me?”

Seiryuu opened his eyes and could only stare.

It was night, the sky was dark and cloudless like yesterday. Stars glittered and the moon was round. There was a crackling sound, so fire must had been lit nearby too.

That's why, even though it's dark, he could see colors.

The green of scarf and headdress, the glinting of his medallion... the kind earthy brown of his eyes...

“Ze... no?”

He sighed, seemingly in relief, before smiling like always.

“Yep. It's Zeno. I'm glad you woke up. Ah, but after this you can go back to sleep. Or, would you prefer eating first? I made soup.”

Woke... up?

“I haven't... woken... I'm still... dreaming...”

That's wrong.

He had woken. He'd seen reality. In reality, he's in a dark cold room, being confined as punishment.

It's so cold, too cold, so he'd fallen asleep again. And the good dream continued again.

“It's not a dream. I'm here. Seiryuu, you told me that, didn't you?”

Zeno's hand ran through Seiryuu's hair, and it felt good.

“I... did...”

“Did you see a bad dream?”

Seiryuu shook his head.

“Good... dream.”

“I see. That's good then. Come on, I've added cinnamon too, so it should be sweetened. It'll make you feel better.”

Seiryuu murmured an acknowledgment, and tried to sit up. Zeno helped him, and let him leaned on him. The movement made his stomach churned, but being held like that was nice. The drink tasted weird, but since it came from Zeno, he wasn't too surprised.

It did make him feel better though, warming his insides.

Looking down, he was being covered with Ao's clothes and fur. He touched it tentatively.

“Do you want to eat?”

Seiryuu shook his head. He was nauseous, and he didn't think his body could take in food at the moment.

“I see. Then, let's just sleep. Zeno will put out the fire.”

Zeno laid Seiryuu down again, before going to do what he said he'd do. After that, he settled next to Seiryuu, pulled Ao's clothing until it's up to Seiryuu's chin again and told him to tell him if he wants something, and just watched over him.

The warmth felt nice, and it's lulling him to sleep again.

“... Hey, Seiryuu, what should I do? I'm not used to be with someone else. Taking care of someone, it's been so long that I've forgotten how.”

Seiryuu heard in his haze long after he'd closed his eyes.

“Because I don't know, you're sick again like this... and it's only the second day. I said I want you to come with me, and I said I'll protect you, but... I wonder if I'm only hurting you instead.”

“And you're... you're having bad dreams too. I wonder if it's because of me. I wonder if you wouldn't see them if only you had not agreed to come with me. Is that why you won't say a thing about it?”

“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.”

Seiryuu couldn't say anything.

He felt weak, and he couldn't feel his body. It's like he was paralyzed.

It's wrong. It's not because of that, even though he wanted to tell Zeno that, he couldn't.

He's waking up again... this is bad...

Seiryuu wondered if later, he'd be able to see the continuance of this wonderful dream he's having. If later, he'd be able to see Zeno again.

If that's so... then, later, he'd tell him.

Later...

 


	7. Chapter 7

Seiryuu opened his eyes because the chirping of birds were too loud, and he was greeted with clear blue sky. So bright, it was painful to look at, and he felt nauseous, so he closed his eyes with his hands. Unconsciously, he groaned because of it. Faintly, there's sound of water too, and crackling of fire. He could smell the earth, and...

Something good.

He couldn't explain it any other way. It made his mouth watered.

“Seiryuu, you've woken up? How are you feeling?”

Peering at the source of sound, Zeno was by the fire, tending the pot of soup he mentioned yesterday.

“I think it's still good. I'm heating it up, so if you want you can have this for breakfast. After this, I'll prepare your medicine. Your fever has gone down, but the temperature is still higher than normal. To be safe, let's drink it again today too. Speaking of drink, you sweat a lot, so you better drink a lot too. Are you thirsty?”

Zeno approached him and offered him a flask of water. Seiryuu blinked in wonder before nodding once. Zeno helped him sit then, letting him leaned on him like before. The water was cool and soothing.

“Zeno... you're... here...”

“Yeah. I'm here.”

He's here... he's still dreaming. Even though he was so afraid he'd woke up, he could still see the continuance of the good dream.

“... I'm... glad...”

He said before he realized it, and reached out to hold Zeno's fingers. They're warm and smooth and soft. Ao's were calloused and rough from all the hard work he'd done, but he liked the feel of it the same.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“Even though I made you like this? Even though you're seeing nightmares because of me?”

“Yeah. It's not Zeno's fault. I'm... I don't know too. But it can't be Zeno's fault. And... about my dreams too... I'm not seeing bad dreams at all. Because Zeno's here, my dream is bright and warm.”

“Seiryuu... Don't force yourself. Specially not for me.”

“I'm not... forcing myself.”

“Then, don't lie for me.”

Zeno said with sad smile as he touched Seiryuu's cheek, under his eye. The touch made Seiryuu realized that it was indeed wet, and his eyes were aching.

It's weird. Did he cry? He didn't remember. Was he crying, in reality? Was that why his eyes ached in his dream?

What happened... in reality again? He couldn't remember. Well, probably nothing had changed anyway. He's probably still in the cold and dark room. After what he'd done, there's no way he'd be let out after all.

“Seiryuu, I'm not used to be with others. I don't know what should or should not be done. I know a bit about medicine, but if possible I don't want to have to give you one. About your dreams though, I can't tell what's wrong, or what's bothering you, so I don't know what to do.”

“But I'm not lying. I really don't have bad dreams. Zeno's here after all.”

“Seiryuu...”

“Since you're here, I've been seeing good dreams.”

Dream of someone who actually wanted to be with him... someone who's not affected by his cursed power, who knew about it better than even himself...

Someone would pester him, practically begging to hold him.

Someone would share food with him, eat with him while smiling.

Someone who's kind and warm, who took his hand and said it's alright to see.

It's alright even if he's a monster...

Because of the wonderful dream, he could feel content despite being so scared in reality.

The world was spinning, and he felt hazy. His eyes were hard to keep opened for some reason. Half asleep, his mind supplied helpfully. He's not fully asleep, so it's like that. It's hard to think too. Out of characteristically, he's saying more than what he wanted to tell Zeno.

The older boy just held him without a word though, listening intently with unreadable expression. Or maybe it's because Seiryuu couldn't really see clearly? He felt sleepy and his eyes been throbbing since yesterday after all.

Zeno was warm... the air felt warm and nice too. The sound of water and fire, the smell of earth and food... Seiryuu wondered why. After Ao died, he couldn't easily go to sleep, but... for some reason with Zeno, it's so easy that it's a bit scary.

Granted, he's sick. When Ao got sick, he slept a lot too.

And Seiryuu's not really sleeping, he's waking up.

Zeno listened until he stopped talking, and only answered moments after, as if he's thinking seriously about what to say first.

“Seiryuu, I'm really here.”

“... yeah. I'm glad.”

“Zeno's really here with Seiryuu.”

“I know. It's warm... and nice. I'm so glad.”

“You're not dreaming. I'm really here.”

“...”

“It's not a dream. The one you said is reality, that's the dream. It's not real. You're not locked up anywhere, you're outside and I'll take you to wherever you want. I'll let you see whatever you want, I'll find the brightest most colorful place for you too. I'll find friends for you, so you don't have to be alone too. And, you're not punished for anything. I won't let anyone do that to you.“

“Is that... so...”

“Yeah. So, Seiryuu... what should I do so that you'll believe me?”

“I guess... when I stop seeing... what must be happening... I'll believe Zeno...”

Zeno seemed sad and frustrated. That's right, he said he didn't know what to do, and he asked about what he should do. Seiryuu couldn't answer that too. How to stop seeing reality, he didn't know how to.

Ah, but Zeno said it's a bad dream. Not reality.

The reality was...

“... leave...me... maybe?”

“...”

“I'll... be sad. If you're not here... I wouldn't know... what to do. Weird. Zeno, since the beginning, Zeno makes me feel warm. Even though I just met you, you feel familiar and nice.”

Different and yet similar. He's reminded of Ao so often. Maybe that's why he could trust him so easily. Even so, at times when he's acting weird and so unlike Ao too, Seiryuu couldn't find it in him to find him disagreeable.

“Even if you're weird. Even if you hide things.”

Zeno smiled a painful looking smile at those words.

“That's why... if you leave me, this dream... will end. And, if I'm... not... back... to the dark... room...”

The shock and despair could probably wake him up. The good dream turned out to be a nightmare after all. But, if he couldn't wake up, if he's stuck in the wilderness, alone without Zeno... yeah, in that case, he'd believe that he hadn't been dreaming, Seiryuu thought. Zeno shook his head though, and said adamantly.

“I don't want you to be sad. So, I'm not leaving you. If you're not here, I'll be miserable too anyway.”

“That's great... I don't want... you to leave too.”

Zeno sighed again, loud and long this time. He still sounded frustrated, but there's a hint of humor in his voice this time.

“It's unfair, Seiryuu. You're not helping, you know? If you put it like that, Zeno won't be able to do it, right? Why does it feel like you're comforting me when what I want is the opposite? You're unexpectedly sly.”

Seiryuu felt a bit proud for some reason.

* * *

He fell asleep again after that, for couple of hours according to Zeno. He felt a bit better. It's not as bad as earlier. At least it's not spinning, so he's not as nauseous too.

When he woke up, Zeno was still holding him, but he was too dazed to notice it.

“You have to eat. Do you want me to feed you?”

Seiryuu nodded against Zeno's chest.

The soup tasted good. He'd like it better if it's salted, but it's good. To make it even though he only used herbs and fish found around him, Zeno was amazing as expected. The medicine he made tasted weird though, but then again, Ao did say every medicine tastes terrible.

Zeno's didn't taste terrible. Just... weird.

The sun was still on the east direction, but it's almost on top of their heads. The day before, Zeno asked to leave before noon, but even if it's basically noon already he hadn't said anything. The things were still unpacked, and Zeno didn't seem like he had any intention on packing them anytime soon.

“When are we going?”

“Later.”

“When is later?”

“We're staying here today. If you're not feverish tomorrow, we'll move again. Until I'm sure you've healed completely, I'm not letting you do anything though. I think the terrain will be rough too, ahead, so I'll carry you. Let me take care of you.”

“I'm fine.”

“Yeah. It's just my selfishness again. I'm sorry, I know you don't like it, but can you please go along with it? I think it's fatigue and stress, so I want you to get as much rest as possible.”

“But, for you to carry everything-”

“I can handle it. Zeno won't lose to anyone in endurance. I'm not easily tired too. Of course, I'll pick the safest and easiest route too. And...”

Zeno bit his lip, and seemingly nervous and troubled. In the end, he lowered his head.

“I'm sorry, I'd wanted to take our time, but just in case I really want to get you to nearest village as quickly as possible. I'm sorry, I may know a bit about medicine, but the herb for your fever is running low, and I don't think I can find more, and what you need to get better is to rest properly in proper place which is not out here like this, and I'm not sure the way I know is the quickest, so-”

“It's fine.”

Zeno's rambling, but Seiryuu understood what he wanted immediately.

“You're sure?”

Seiryuu nodded.

Zeno wanted to use his eyes.

Even though he seemed uninterested in using it, and even though it's as clear as day how bothered and unhappy he was for having to ask Seiryuu, Zeno apparently had priorities. It's relieving. Even if Seiryuu was just worried because he didn't think Zeno could carry him and all of the other things himself on a route which he himself admitted would be rough, and due to the lack of map was not guaranteed to be safe and he didn't think Zeno's reasoning as to why he needed to hurry was worth worrying about.

Even if Zeno said he wouldn't lose to anyone in endurance, it's simply too reckless.

So, knowing that the reckless weirdo he'd decided to rely on wasn't a simple idiot and had decent common sense was really relieving. Finally he'd obtain a reason to not be anxious because of the lack of worry even though Zeno's still a stranger to him, he's yet to tell Seiryuu more about himself than that he's Ouryuu and that he came to Seiryuu's village because he might or might not have made a promise Seiryuu couldn't remember, or lack of worry even though Zeno always seemed to have his head in the clouds.

Beides, it's not like Zeno asked him to use it to kill someone. If it's only to see afar, from the start Seiryuu didn't mind on using it if only Zeno would just ask him to.

“They've been aching, and my vision is a bit blurry though.”

“Yeah. Sickness does that to dragon powers. I'm sorry. And thank you. The nearest... if I'm not mistaken shouldn't be that far, so you should be able to see it.”

Seiryuu nodded in understanding.

“I can't see anything from here, so I'd like to get to the topmost branch of... that tree.”

Seiryuu pointed to a particularly tall tree not far from where he was, and Zeno agreed to get him up there after he's better. Hopefully, by the time his fever went down, his eyes would be clearer and he'd be more alert and Zeno would feel less worry about him falling down.

“I'm fine. I can climb. And, I won't fall.”

“Yeah. I know. Seiryuu is smart, so it's obvious that you can do everything, and you're not going to doze off or faint too. I can feel that you're better too. It's just me being selfish again. Please?”

Seiryuu reluctantly nodded.

“... not fair. Sly.”

“Yep. It's payback.”

He hadn't expected Zeno to heard him, so he glanced at his face in surprise. Zeno was smiling mischievously, although the smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. He seemed sad.

A heartbeat later, his smile faltered and he lowered his head again.

“... I'm sorry. I lied. Even if you hadn't said anything, I'd still suggest this. So-”

“Zeno wants me to be slier.”

“I want you to tell me more of what you want from me.”

Zeno stared at him expectantly and Seiryuu got confused.

Seiryuu thought that he had though, tell Zeno what he wanted.

Let him walk, don't hold him too tightly, bring Ao's stuffs, don't leave...

He'd said so many selfish things. And Zeno, even about the things he hadn't asked directly, he seemed to be considering it at all times.

What he wanted... Seiryuu didn't think there's anything else he wanted Zeno to do. Rather, Zeno's been really selfless that he's getting uncomfortable too. When he said it's him being selfish, it's always after he said 'leave it all to me' after all. Another reason Seiryuu felt relieved when Zeno asked him to use his eyes.

“Tell me more, what Zeno wants from me.”

Zeno sighed exaggeratedly and shook his head.

“Seiryuu, you're a tough one to please, aren't you?”

To be honest, Seiryuu felt the same way about Zeno.

“You can be more selfish, you know?”

Zeno too. Seiryuu thought he'd feel a lot better if Zeno's a bit more selfish.

“I said this, but what I'm getting from you is only the feeling that you're telling me to do the same.”

Seiryuu nodded in confirmation. Zeno sighed again.

“We have a lot of time, so let's think of an agreement or something about this.”

Seiryuu nodded again.

He couldn't think of anything though, since Zeno was otherworldly and it's crossed his mind that maybe that's one of the reasons he found him nice. Seiryuu didn't think he'd like him to be any other way. Well, even if he's forcing himself too. He seemed different today.

He didn't refer to himself as third person. That's the most obvious.

And he seemed desperate.

He wondered why.

A lot of time... Zeno said that, and yet, Seiryuu thought as he watched Zeno looking up to the cloudless sky and glaring at the blinding sun, he seemed to want to solve it as quickly as possible as if he thought he had so little time left.

Blinding sun... The sun was reflected in Zeno's brown eyes, but... it's not what he's glaring at. It's something beyond that, something which couldn't be seen by Seiryuu's eyes.

“Let's start... with that, I guess.”

Zeno said suddenly, breaking Seiryuu's train of thought.

“You did say I hide things, right?”

 


	8. Chapter 8

“As expected, Seiryuu’s eyes are the best, aren’t they? But, then again, maybe it’s just because I’m too transparent. Back then, they found out too, I think.”

Zeno didn’t deny it. He didn’t even try. Although he seemed really sad and hurting.

“… they?”

“My past companions. They didn’t say anything, but it’s pretty obvious from their faces. Back then, there’s a time when I wondered why they went along with me even though they’ve noticed that I’m hiding something. Seiryuu, why do you go along with me?”

“Because it doesn’t matter to me.”

Like he’d said, even if Zeno was weird and hide things from him, he still couldn’t find it in himself to find him disagreeable. And he got attached to him in record time. Sure, he found his lack of worry a bit worrying, but he could wave it aside because Zeno had shown his good points as well.

“Please find it problematic. Seiryuu, as much as I’m glad you can put up with me even though I’m a stranger and as you said, I’m weird, we have a problem if you’re not bothered.“

“Zeno apologized he had to ask me to go with him as a stranger, so it’s fine. And… I’m bothered. Zeno looks sad. So I won’t ask.”

"I’m not sad. I’ll answer properly to any question you ask.”

“Zeno doesn’t have to force himself with me.”

“I’m not. Because Seiryuu’s here I’ve been unbelievably happy.”

“… don’t lie.”

It’s basically a repeat of their earlier conversation, and from the way Zeno sighed Seiryuu figured he realized it too.

“It’s different. It’s just… Well, it’s true that I don’t like to talk about some things. Doesn’t mean I’m lying about being happy with you though, and it doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to talk about it.”

Seiryuu nodded.

“Zeno said it’s not something I should think hard, so it’s fine.”

Dragons. Zeno was specially evasive and sad-looking when he’s talking about them. And until now he hadn’t told Seiryuu his reason for coming to his village and deciding to take him away, so Seiryuu supposed he didn’t really want to talk about it too.

A promise, Zeno did say that, but since Seiryuu couldn’t remember anything, he couldn’t really believe it. Although yes, he did feel like Zeno’s familiar, although he couldn’t remember ever meeting him before.

So weird.

But then again, Seiryuu was only four years old. He couldn’t remember much of what happened when he was just born. Just darkness, and then when he realized it, he was already with Ao. Memory was such a curious thing.

"I'm sorry. You can forget about that. And you don't have to worry about me. If there's anything, you only need to ask."

"Zeno too."

"I'll do that. So, Seiryuu too, just ask away. I'll tell you anything truthfully. I won’t lie to you."

Seiryuu nodded and there’s that.

Zeno stared at him expectantly the rest of the day, as if he was waiting for Seiryuu to start bombarding him with questions.

There were a lot of questions he’d been wanting to ask, but maybe it’s because he’s sick, he couldn’t remember most of them. He figured if he could forget about it, then it must mean that those questions didn’t matter though.

In the end, before he sleeps that night, he only asked for one thing.

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

Zeno confirmed it.

For now, that’s the only thing Seiryuu wanted to know about Zeno.

* * *

 

Zeno's mood improved and he's back to his usual weird happy-go-lucky self by the next day. He referred to himself as third-person again, and his cheerful smile was back. He seemed so happy when he announced that Seiryu's fever had gone down again, and was outright giggling when he picked him up. Seiryuu didn't know if he's like this because he's better and Zeno, being the kind person he was, was ecstatic about it, or if Zeno was just putting up a front.

Maybe both. He seemed sincere when he praised the heaven.

The view from the tree was clear too, to Seiryuu's eyes. Zeno sighed of relief when he heard that. Seiryuu told Zeno then, where the nearest village was, and he also pointed to Zeno the routes as well as what needed to be passed to get there. Zeno asked for few possible routes, and he asked for Seiryuu's opinion as well.

To be asked like that, it's not something Seiryuu's familiar with. He's reluctant to answer. But, Zeno waited patiently for his answer and never rushed him, and was obviously putting his words in consideration.

It's weird, but then again, Zeno's been like that from the start. It's just that there were many weirder and more surprising things before that Seiryuu only realized the oddity of it now.

Zeno really meant it, when he said he wanted Seiryuu to be more selfish, and was apparently determined to get every opinion Seiryuu had for every little thing.

Unfair. Seiryuu decided to think up ways to know Zeno's wishes too, so he could help make it happen. He's relying on Zeno completely at the moment though, so it might be difficult. At least, Seiryuu decided he wouldn't say no when Zeno asked him something.

It did make him feel better too, to used his power to help Zeno.

Maybe he could take initiative and hug him or something later when they sleep. Zeno seemed to like that, for some reason.

"Right. If Zeno estimates correctly and if the weather stays in our favor like this, we can get there by noon tomorrow. We're going now. Seiryuu, hold on tight, okay?"

Seiryuu nodded against Zeno's chest, and held on tight.

"Sorry. Three days, and then Zeno will let you down. Can you bear it until then?"

Seiryuu nodded again.

"Thank you. Then, let's go."

Zeno hummed as he walked, a bit faster than the pace Seiryuu remembered he used when they walked hand in hand. Apparently he'd been slowing down himself to match Seiryuu's pace.

"... Am I... Slow?"

"Hm, what was that?"

"I'm not as fast as Zeno, am I?"

"Zeno has longer legs so of course my step will be wider and my speed will be seen as faster. Zeno thinks you're fast though."

"Zeno is stronger too."

"Zeno's not at all strong. Right now, I only seem stronger because I'm bigger."

"I want to be stronger. I've been... Putting off sword practice. I need to hurry before I forget the movement Ao taught me."

"You're not yet fully recovered, so Zeno doesn't want you to exert yourself until next week, at least. Is it alright with you to wait until then?"

"Next week... Understood."

"Thank you. Sword practice though, huh? Zeno used sword too in the past, but I haven't used it in a while."

"I can show Zeno?"

"You don't mind Zeno watching? Hehehe, I'm so happy. It's a promise then."

Sword user. Zeno was a sword user. Even though his hands weren't calloused and rough like Ao, he'd used sword.

"When was the last time I used it, Zeno wonders. Since before I went travelling, I think? These days Zeno fights empty handed though."

Even though he claimed that he's not strong, he fought. Even though he's leaner and less muscular than Ao, he's a warrior too.

Seiryuu made decided to ask him to show his way of fighting. It might prove useful later.

He hoped Ao wouldn't mind him lending Zeno his still oversized and too heavy to use sword.

"Zeno, who taught you to fight?"

"Zeno learned by fighting by myself. Soldiers, bandits... Sometimes wild animals too. Like bears. You wouldn't believe how often I stumbled upon a bear. The basic though, Zeno's past companions taught me."

Bear...

Seiryuu saw Ao fought bear once. The meat was rather delicious. Ao said not to engage one before he's sure of his own skill though, and if possible simply don't engage.

Zeno was strong, Seiryuu concluded, despite how uncoordinated he could be sometimes. If he's telling the truth. Then again, Zeno had sworn that he'd only say the truth.

"Zeno didn't get to use the skill they taught me much though, until we parted ways. And I didn't bring sword when Zeno started travelling, so I'm rusty. Maybe I'll re-learn it with Seiryuu. It sounds fun."

"Zeno can use Ao's. Still too big for me."

"Zeno can? Are you sure?"

Zeno seemed so surprised that he stopped. His eyes widened slightly. Seiryuu nodded.

"Yeah. I want to see Zeno fight too."

Zeno giddily laughed, seemingly so happy, and when he started moving again, he was almost skipping.

"Zeno's not strong, so it wouldn't be interesting to see though. But Zeno wants to see you fight too."

Somehow it's a bit surprising. If it's Zeno, he thought he'd oppose to Seiryuu fighting. He was so distraught when Seiryuu collapsed after all. Seiryuu thought he'd say stuffs like, you don't have to do it, I'm here, I'll do all the fighting for you or something along the line of that.

He's so weird and surprising.

Well, it's not like Seiryuu's not satisfied with it. He'd defied Ao by coming with Zeno, if possible he didn't want to have to forget about his teachings completely.

Because, it'd be too cruel for Ao if Seiryuu was to forget about him. For some reason he thought so.

"Ao was a great swordsman, wasn't he?"

Seiryuu nodded in agreement. Ao was the best blademaster in the village.

"I'm not that good. That's why, to the soldiers, I used my eyes."

"Yet. Seiryuu just started learning recently, right? Maybe, couple of month’s experience? It’s natural to feel inadequate now. But, all Seiryuus have ways with sword. Seiryuu too, will undoubtedly be formidable in the future. And you learned from the best too. Let's practice a lot when you're better. We can hunt together as we practice if you want."

"No bear, bandits, or soldiers."

"Of course. Let's stick to smaller animal. Lone one. No human fighter. At least until we're stronger."

It sounded reasonable enough, so Seiryuu agreed to it.

"For now though... Hm, let's see. We'll need to pick vegetables and herbs, and maybe set traps to catch something. Be careful though, some of the plants can be poisonous. Seiryuu, do you know which ones are poisonous?"

Seiryuu shook his head, no.

"Then, Zeno will tell you which can and can't be eaten later. I'll show you how to set the traps too."

"Zeno knows all that? Is that how you've survived this long? Where did you learn it from?"

"Where it was from, Zeno has forgotten the specifics. My past companions taught me some, I read about some, and I had bad experience with most. Normally people would have died ages ago, Zeno thinks. It's just because I'm Ouryuu that I can survive this long."

"Read...?"

"Yeah. You know, from books and scrolls and the like. Someone showed me lots of books with pretty pictures, and it was pretty educational."

Seiryuu stared blankly, and Zeno apparently understood from the silence. He didn't comment on it though.

"Zeno will tell you how to read too, later. Maybe I'll get some books later too. Ones with pretty pictures. Would you like that?"

"Pretty pictures... Curious."

"It's settled then! Already on mental shopping list. Might be costly though, so the pretty pictures may have to wait."

Seiryuu nodded in understanding.

Books are expensive. He didn't know what books are, but since they had no money it's not a priority. Just like liquor for Ryokuryuu. The priority was map, and more herbs according to Zeno.

Map is a piece of paper with picture of the land drawn on it. It's not pretty though. What could possibly be drawn if Zeno could say there were pretty pictures?

...can't be hearts, can it? It couldn’t be. Yep, hearts aren’t pretty at all. First thing first, he needed to redefine ‘pretty’. Pretty things… things he’d like to touch…

Zeno’s medallion.

It’s pretty. Hearts are not pretty.

Seiryuu felt rather proud of his revelation.

Speaking of which, Zeno was amazing.

Zeno had walked for a while, but he hadn't broken a sweat. His heartbeat too, felt slow and steady. As he hummed happily, his breathing was not ragged too.

In endurance, no one could beat him. He did say things like that.

Silently, Seiryuu wondered if it’s possible to best him in that.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Zeno said no helping, and no nothing for three days, so Seiryuu did nothing helpful. Zeno made lots of weird looking scribbles on the ground using a stick, and said that what he’d made was called letters. A letter represents a syllabel, and when combined it’s form words. Words together would form sentences. And so on. For now, since Seiryuu seemed so frustrated, Zeno wanted him to try writing as he waited.

Zeno demonstrated how to by telling what syllabel each scribble represent and writing his name ‘Zeno’ before going to set everything up. Seiryuu tried to copy him. Seeing how different it turned out irked him, so he rewrote it again and again.

He tried making Ao’s name too. Zeno said he wrote it well and that he had cute handwriting, but since the letters barely resembled the sample Zeno had made, he couldn’t really accept his compliment. Before he went away to continue doing his thing, Zeno mused that he’d like to see Seiryuu write his own name.

So, Seiryuu tried it. Over and over again despite his uncooperative hand. It’s like sword practice all over again. Ao said he’s not used to the form yet, which was why some of the moves he tried came out wrong. He said after some time, if he continued practice, it’s be easier. Apparently writing was the same.

He squeaked and nearly jumped from surprise when Zeno called him. Apparently he’d been too engrossed on his attempts that he didn’t realize that the sun was already setting and the food was ready.

“What’ve you written? Can Zeno sees?”

Seiryuu nodded.

“’Seiryuu’, I tried. Zeno said you want to see my name written.”

“Amazing! Zeno could barely write a letter when I was first taught to write. Seiryuu is so smart.”

“Zeno, happy?”

“Yeah. I’m so proud of you! And you wrote my name too! I feel so special! Ah, but maybe it's just me bring conceited, that's what Zeno wrote as example, wasn't it?"

Somehow, his reaction, as normal for Zeno as it was, felt weird. He reached out and tugged Zeno’s sleeve.

“I wrote my name.”

He said again, because Zeno didn’t seem to realize it.

“You did?”

Seiryuu nodded. Zeno looked down to the ground and searched his attemps.

“Sorry, but maybe because it’s getting dark now. Which one is it?”

He asked, and Seiryuu got confused.

He wrote 'Seiryuu’ the most. Was it that bad that Zeno couldn’t read it?

“I wrote… 'Seiryuu’ wrong?”

He asked as he pointed at one of his attempts, and Zeno’s smile fell. Suddenly he seemed like he’s afraid of something.

“… Yeah, but it’s my fault. It’s a complicated word. It should be like this. But you write 'Ao’ and my name correctly and wonderfully.”

Zeno said what he wrote was read as 'Seiriyu’ before crouching down and corrected him, scribbling similar yet different looking scribbles on the ground near to Seiryuu’s attempts. Seiryuu copied him and looked at his face, to search for some sort of acknowledgment. For some reason though, Zeno seemed even more frightened.

“…? Zeno, not happy? I’m… Not good?”

“You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s just… Seiryuu, I’m sorry. I should have asked this from the beginning, but…”

“…?”

“Seiryuu, what’s your name?” 

* * *

 

Seiryuu didn’t know the specifics. Children in his village had names, given by their parents. Those names would then be used to call themselves.

It applied to everyone except for Seiryuu.

He was Seiryuu, and so he was called such. Ao too, was called 'Seiryuu’ by the villagers. Ao too, called him 'Seiryuu’. Seiryuu remembered hearing people saying that his mother had died, that he’d killed her, so even if there was a time when he’d liked to ask someone if he had a name like the other children or not, he had no one to ask.

Whether when he was born he was given name or not, Seiryuu didn’t know.

“What about your father?”

“Ao said… He’s a bad person. I shouldn’t… Get near him. Always stopped me before I could find him.”

Zeno was angry and tense.

“If the same thing happen in the future, I’ll test their divine protection myself and see how they’d survive. Whatever the reason is, isn’t this going too far?! Abi would have gone mad from this.”

Seiryuu looked down to his soup and stayed silent. He understood that Zeno didn’t like the villagers, and right now he’s overwhelmed with desire to run to where they were and punch someone, but to be honest he couldn’t understand why he was angry.

Seiryuu didn’t know who the person named Abi he mentioned too. Seiryuu figured it’s one of Zeno’s past companions though. Maybe the one who’d told him about the power of Seiryuu. Then again, there should be no reason for that person to be mad about Seiryuu’s lack of name.

“Seiryuu, is there anything you’d like to be called by?”

Seiryuu looked up and tilted his head in confusion.

“You need a name.”

“… Isn’t Seiryuu enough, if it’s just to call me?”

“Yes, but it’s not a name. It’s what you are, not who you are. Seiryuu, to have a name is a wonderful and natural thing. Because it holds a prayer and praise, so when people calls you by name, they’re acknowledging the prayer and agreeing to the praise.”

“Prayer… And praise?”

“Yeah. It’s more than just something used to call you. That’s why, Seiryuu, you have to have one.”

“I’m fine… Without it.”

It’s not like there’s anything praiseworthy about him, and the things people prayed for related to him was usually for him to stay away and to erase the cursed existence that was Seiryuu with his death. May there be no more Seiryuu, so to speak. 'Seiryuu' was enough to convey that, he thought. But Zeno said it wouldn’t do.

“There’s a time when I am without name too, Seiryuu. People called me Ouryuu for years, so I know how nice it is to be called by name. My past companion, ah, I mentioned his name earlier didn’t I? Abi was so happy he cried when I called him by name, and I was so happy myself when someone important to me called me 'Zeno’. Besides, she said she’s happy too to be able to call me by name.”

“… happy?”

“Yeah. To be able to pray for a precious person, and to be able to praise a precious person, it’s as wonderful as being prayed for and praised. That’s why, Seiryuu, I want you to have a name.”

Seiryuu felt his face burn as he idly stirred his vegetable soup. He wondered if he’s feverish again.

“I don’t want… anything in particular. I’m fine with anything.”

Come to think of it, Ao once asked him to think up a name for himself too.

“Listen, brat. Your mother is a goner, your father is a bastard, and everyone else are idiot jerks. That’s why no one ever told me your name. You need one. Think of something.”

He never brought it up again though.

“It can’t be anything. It must be something that fits Seiryuu.”

Zeno crossed his arms and seemingly thinking hard. Maybe he’d realized that Seiryuu couldn’t even bring himself to try to think up name for himself, and had decided to think for him.

“… monster?”

“If you’re a monster, then so am I and the other dragons. And maybe lots of other cute, kind, strong, and smart people like Seiryuu. Not distinctive enough.”

Seiryuu stared as he watched Zeno with his eyes closed and head tilted upwards a bit and food abandoned in front of him. He was muttering some words Seiryuu had never heard before. Well, since it’s Zeno, his choice being weird might be expected. He'd ask about the meaning later.

For the moment though...

“Zeno, you have to eat or else you’ll die.”

Zeno stopped his muttering and turned to Seiryuu with wide brown eyes, visible clearly to Seiryuu despite the darkness.

“What was that?”

“If you don’t eat, you’ll die?”

He repeated, but this time it came out like a question for some reason. It’s just that, Zeno’s been carrying heavy things, and he’d been doing everything. He didn’t rest for even a while too. He thought it’s a very obvious thing. If he didn’t eat on top of that, he’d die from fatigue and hunger. Zeno stared at him in wonder though, as if he just said pearls of wisdom.

“You remind me so much of someone. I’ve been wondering who, but I think I can see the resemblance now.”

“Seiryuu? From the story?”

“Well, that too. But there’s another person I used to live with who said similar things. About dying if I refuse to eat. Come to think of it, her situation was similar to yours too. This is bad. I’ve apologized about not being thankful, so it’s not good to repeat my mistake. I’m eating, thank heaven for the food.”

He ate the soup in one gulp, put his hands together, and thanked the heaven again. Seiryuu copied his movement.

“Seiryuu, how are you feeling? The herbs ran out, and I couldn’t find any around here, so I can’t make medicine for today. Hopefully I can get more in the village tomorrow though. Are you still nauseous? Everything still spinning?”

Seiryuu shook his head, no. He’d felt a lot better despite still feeling a bit weak. But, more than to rest, he wanted to move, to be honest. He wanted to help, maybe by gathering firewood or herbs, vegetables and fruits. Maybe by getting water or cooking. Zeno saying ‘no nothing for three days’ was the only thing stopping him.

He’s still afraid, Seiryuu realized.

Even with Zeno’s reassurance, he’s still afraid that it’s just a dream. Or worse, if Zeno’s going to abandon him if he’s doing things wrong. Zeno had basically been telling him to don't mind anything, be selfish and let loose, but for some reason it's getting harder for Seiryuu to do exactly that.

Well, Zeno was a stranger and Seiryuu knew nothing about him. He’d just been with him for few days, and Zeno only started opening up today so maybe it's normal for him to be wary. Zeno himself might even say that it's great and expected because Seiryuu's smart or something.

Seiryuu thought back to what Zeno had said just in that day. He said Seiryuu was similar to a girl he used to live with. Zeno used to be called not by his name, and at least one of his friends did too. Zeno could fight, his friends taught him the basic, but he learned mostly from experience in his travel. Apparently he fought with bears a lot, but mostly empty-handed even though he knew how to use sword. Zeno knew things mostly from experience too, but his friends taught him some and he read some from books with pretty pictures.

That’s quite a bit of information despite it not being everything yet.

Must be because he thought it's a problem if Seiryuu just followed him blindly and since Seiryuu had admitted feeling bad asking for stuffs, he put it in himself to say more.

The least Seiryuu could do was to remember everything and not ask for already mentioned things, if he had to ask, Seiryuu supposed. Zeno didn't seem like he's forcing himself, he's saying things he's comfortable with while still holding back information. Nothing much about dragons, or why he decided to come to Seiryuu.

He shook his head frantically when the thought that maybe Zeno didn't like the current living dragons and Seiryuu included came to mind as he watched Zeno putting out the fire, the soft glow from the dying ember accentuate his grim expression.

"It's late. Seiryuu needs lots of rest to get better, so let's sleep for now."

Seiryuu nodded, even though he doubted he'd be able to.

"You're not sleepy, are you?"

Seiryuu shook his head in confirmation. Zeno smiled kindly in understanding as he covered him with Ao's fur. The sky was still cloudless and stars were plenty, the sight Seiryuu had gotten used to see every night. The moon was no longer perfect round though, but still pretty as always.

"Let's see... Back then, Abi said that hearing people talk nonsense can bring him to sleep sometimes. Most of the time he just wanted to kill those people though. Good thing Zeno's sturdy, right?"

"I won’t want to kill Zeno."

"Hehehe, I'm glad. But Zeno will talk nevertheless. Do you know, Seiryuu, that some people use stars as their guide? To show their way or to predict future, many entrust their lives on the stars."

Seiryuu shook his head, no, before looking up and wondered how those beautiful shiny dust scattered on night sky could show the way.

"There are patterns, constellations, located on specific part of the sky in certain times. For example... Ah, Zeno found it. There, see? It's shaped like a bunny."

"Rabbit... Yeah. I can see it."

Small roundish shapes intersecting each other. If traced, it did seem like bunny, with two particularly bright stars could be seem as the eyes.

"That's great, because Zeno made that up."

Zeno laughed. Seiryuu blinked in surprise.

"People since long ago made up patterns from stars. Some show it to others, and if they can see it too, those people will show other people. Star patterns are that sort of thing. I've seen scrolls with patterns drawn on them, but there were only few that I could see myself. Apparently, some things won't change. Thousands of years ago in Scarlet Palace, Ouryuu was taught so many patterns by Ryokuryuu, but the only one he could see was the Milky Way."

Zeno pointed up and traced the clusters of stars, forming what seemed to be white glittering river across the sky.

"White... river. Milky Way."

"Beautiful, isn't it? Because I can't see much, I don't remember every constelations. If you'd like, I'll look for books about them."

Pretty pictures Zeno mentioned, one of them was about sky. Seiryuu nodded despite himself.

"The ones Zeno made up... The bunny, the squirrel, the peach, the bear... Wait, the bear isn't something Zeno found. But I can see them too, Mother Bear and her Cub. There are others too, but stars change position depending on the time of the year, you see? Not everything can be seen at the same time."

"I... Can see them. The rabbit. The squirrel. The peach. And the bears too."

"You can? I'm glad. It's been so long since someone said they could see what Zeno's seeing. Last time was... Hakuryuu, I think. He saw the red star at dawn too, and he also felt like going after it. Well, it has descended though, so it's impossible to look now."

"Stars can descend? Fall down to earth?"

"There's shooting stars, but that's not what Zeno meant. All lives will return to the sky, to heaven. Some believe that stars are those departed souls, watching over us, always. Some believe that if they worry too much and become frustrated because they can't do much for their loved ones from the sky, they can choose to descend and be among the living again. Hakuryuu and Zeno felt like chasing the red star that day because it's Hiryuu."

Turning to see his face, Zeno seemed wistful. As expected, things about dragons made him sad. Seiryuu swallowed the questions appearing in his mind, and instead try to focus all of his attention to the pretty pictures Zeno showed him in the sky.

After a while, Zeno sighed.

"If only I could hear their voices..."

"Voice of stars?"

"Yeah. If possible, Zeno wants to ask Ao's opinion for your name."

"Ao said to think of something myself."

"You remember that? It must have been said recently then, huh? So he spent long time trying to think up a name for you too. More reason to ask him."

"Ao... did...?"

"He must have. He loved Seiryuu so much after all. He'd want to praise Seiryuu a lot."

Seiryuu wondered if it's true.

Whenever his bells rang, he could only imagine Ao reprimanding him for something.

"Hey, Mister? Zeno can't think up a good name for Seiryuu. If you have an idea you can share, that'd be great."

Zeno suddenly said loudly, before yawning as loud.

"This is bad. Why is Zeno the one who's getting sleepy?"

"Zeno needs rest too."

"I guess... And Zeno has... Made you sick. Crossing my fingers. Most likely Ao will come to Zeno's dream and yell at me for that. I'll ask... if he does come."

When he looked at him again, Zeno was already asleep. Seiryuu stared at his sleeping face. Unlike usual, he wasn't smiling.

He wanted to see Ao.

Seiryuu sat up and shook his masked face, making the bells rang.

"... this is... Zeno. It's not his fault, so, Ao, don't blame him."

Then he took off his mask and placed it carefully on Zeno's face. He stared in wonder at the shiny medallion tied on his headband, tentatively touched it, and backed away because Zeno groaned and shifted.

Weird. Usually, Zeno slept like a log, unmoving.

Usually, Zeno was holding him though, his mind supplied helpfully. After a long consideration, Seiryuu pressed himself to Zeno's body, and stiffened because he was immediately secured with Zeno's arms, as if he'd been expecting it and was waiting for it all this time. Even though it's impossible, because he really was asleep, it's clear from his breathing.

Seiryuu waited, and Zeno didn't move again.

Thinking that he'd helped Zeno somehow, Seiryuu contently closed his eyes.

* * *

 Seiryuu had been dreaming of darkness, of curling in a corner of a cold dark room hearing someone crying in agony, ever since he's with Zeno.

That night, it's unussually different. He was outside, and even though it's night time, it was bright. The moon was full and stars were plenty. Fireflies were around him, glowing faintly and beautifully. The air were fresh in his lungs, cool and he could faintly smell something good and relaxing. Must be from the flowers around him.

He spread his arms and breathed in a lungful. Someplace bathed by light, both from the sky and earth, it's something beyond his imagination. He felt like he'd been wishing for a place like this for a long time, but he couldn't remember it ever crossing his mind. It was a strange feeling.

But, it's nice.

"Shin-Ah."

A girl's voice resounded, and Seiryuu turned to her in surprise.

* * *

 He didn't meet Ao, Zeno told him. But, maybe he did come. Maybe it's thanks to the mask and bells, Zeno mused with a smile as he returned the mask back to Seiryuu.

"Shin-Ah."

He said. Surprised because it's the same with what the girl from his dream said, he looked up wide-eyed to Zeno, who smiled and placed his hand on top of Seiryuu's head. The gesture felt familiar somehow.

"In a possible future, you will save someone from darkness. That person will praise your kindness, and bestow you the name meaning 'Moonlight'. She will know about the lies about you, and she'll accept you. Because, she'll only see your true self, kind, strong, and beautiful."

"Like the moon, softer and kinder than the sun, lightening the way in darkness. To Zeno too, it's appropriate. The star I've been waiting for hasn't appeared, but because you're here, I feel like I can get through even the darkest night. Moon appears even before stars do, after all."

"Shin-Ah, 'Person of Moonlight'. What do you think?"

Seiryuu nodded dazedly. He felt his face burning again, and his eyes were throbbing again. Some kind of indescribable emotion bubbled up from within him, making it hard to formulate words properly.

"I'll... I'll treasure it."

He managed in a choked sob. Zeno was laughing as he ruffled his hair.

"Hehehe, you like being called by your name after all, Shin-Ah?"

He nodded and couldn't hold back his tears. He stumbled forward and pressed himself to Zeno, sobbing to his clothes. Zeno just held him back and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"The you in your nightmares will be saved by that person, Zeno guarantees it. And, one day, in this life too, you'll meet her. Our guiding light... Right now, your name means prayer for that too. There will be a lot of people who'll see you like she will, Zeno will find them for you, but if you doubt me, for now can you believe her?"

Seiryuu, Shin-Ah, nodded. Image of a girl appearing in his mind, unclear as it was before in the place full of light. She was kind and accepting, with warm hands and everything brightened when she smiles. Like burning flame he’d come to love. He wanted to see her, she's his destination, she’s the reason he’s what he was and why he could meet Zeno and others like him and...

"And Zeno will be with you until then. She's the reason I'm here too. I’ll protect you and her and everyone else too. Let's wait and prepare ourselves together, right, Shin-Ah?"

May fate brought us together soon.

With that prayer in mind, Shin-Ah accepted the dream-like reality and vivid dreams he'd been seeing. No matter which one's real, he still wasn't sure which was which, the girl and Zeno and everyone else would be there with him.

They're the same. They're the same, they're the same... He wouldn't be in the dark, wouldn't be cold, wouldn't be alone no matter what really happened.

As long as he had his name, he felt like he could believe that.


	10. Chapter 10

The journey continued after that, as planned.

Even though there was no plan. Just, get to the nearest village, get a map and herbs. Try to get money. Buy liquor for Ryokuryuu and books with pretty pictures just because. Find a settlement and friends. It’s all very spontaneous and they only had visions and not missions and none had real importance to Shin-Ah.

He didn’t mind being anywhere as long as Zeno’s there after all.

The first village they found was no good though.                                    

As realized before, some of Seiryuu villagers went missing during the time Shin-Ah was unconscious. Those people apparently went to the same way Shin-Ah and Zeno was going to.

Those villagers then spread the news about Earth Tribe soldiers attacking, and about possible incoming attack soon. And so, the village they found was in disarray.

“Those idiots! Can’t they stop causing problems for us, for heaven’s sake!”

Zeno wanted to stay in an inn because Shin-Ah was deemed still not completely recovered, but since Shin-Ah said that the village was approximately the same size as his village, he didn’t think there’d be one. Still, at least, he’d hoped to be able to stay in someone’s house or something.

With the panic though, it’s rendered impossible.

Still, Zeno wanted the map and herbs as soon as he could, so they had to enter the village.

Shin-Ah was reasonably distressed.

The fact that he couldn’t refuse Zeno when he asked him to take off his mask didn’t help. Zeno said that rather than him, an adorably cute boy no matter how people look at him, his mask would attract more attention. If the idiots (Shin-Ah couldn’t help but to start thinking about them as such, as both Zeno and Ao referred to them as such) told the villagers about Shin-Ah too, then most likely they’d describe a masked monster instead of a boy.

And Zeno, who still insist on carrying him, decided to press Shin-Ah’s unmasked face to his chest to hide his beautifully different eyes (as he put it) after saying stuffs like, “just focus on Zeno’s heart”. He was so anxious he could barely think.

Even though he had suggested to wait on the campsite, Zeno refused that.

“Shin-Ah, right now, the only thing that’s stopping me from giving them hell is you in my arms, so unless you want them dead by morning, and Zeno totally understand why you’d want them to, please come with Zeno?”

Ao wouldn’t want them hurt, so Shin-Ah reluctantly agreed.

Well, nothing happened, fortunately. So it’s all good.

Even though he was so tired after that, having overwhelmed by the feel of Zeno’s beating heart, the steady rhythm and vibration he could feel on his skin, his eyes craving to look through Zeno’s to see the small and cute organ and touch it…

It didn’t happen, but Shin-Ah was exhausted nevertheless. He didn’t think he’d ever feel more exhausted than that, even when Ao taught him how to use his power the first time, so it was saying something.

At camp, Zeno told him to wait as he prepared dinner, just like always, and Shin-Ah hurriedly searched Zeno's bag for his mask, fastened it on his face tighter than necessary, then shook his head frantically. The sound of bells and familiar weight calmed him considerably. Zeno was alive, and unaffected, humming as he did everything like always, and with his mask he wouldn't be able to use his power and Zeno wouldn't be paralyzed and it's so relieving he was sobbing when he realized it.

“Zeno won’t die easily, you know? Don’t worry... I won't die ever, you won't kill me...”

Zeno apologized and told him that as he held him tight. Shin-Ah seemed to remember Ao saying similar things, although he wasn’t really sure.

Just in case, he decided he had good enough reason to worry.

The next village was a week away, and Shin-Ah was feeling better too. As promised, Zeno let him walk on his own, although he walked considerably slower. They stopped a lot too, Zeno taking his time to show Shin-Ah the plants and their effect on body and how to prepare them. Mostly boiled and drank, but some can be made into ointments too. And, Zeno also took his time to teach him how to read and write. Shin-Ah wondered if at this pace, it’d take longer than a week to reach the village, but he didn’t really care. It’s not like they have a deadline or something like that.

At night, it’s becoming a habit to stargaze, and Zeno told him stories related to the patterns he couldn’t see. He found lots of new patterns too, and Shin-Ah was glad for once with his eyes, because he could see them all and Zeno seemed so happy that he could. He asked Shin-Ah to tell him if he’d seen anything, because he wanted to see what Shin-Ah’s seeing too, and Shin-Ah panicked because the stars were so overwhelming because they’re so many and bright and he didn’t have that good of imagination like Zeno, but Zeno said they had lots of time, and he could wait forever, so there’s no need to panic over it.

Zeno said that if he could see more, then surely he’d find something too in the sky. That’s why, he’d show Shin-Ah more of this world. Specially the beauty of it. Shin-Ah only deserved the best, he said.

They found a loquat tree one day, and weirdly even though it was summer fruits were hanging on its branches, and Zeno decided to take some and make cider from some of the fruits. Can’t waste a blessing, he said. He didn't think he'd be able to make enough money for liquor soon after all. Good thing they had more than a flask available.

"Hopefully, it'll be enough. Even though it's sweet and weak as liquor, and not something Shuten liked very much. Have you tried it, Shin-Ah?"

Shin-Ah shook his head, no.

Zeno said he figured so, but still it's a blasphemy. Children should be given lots of sweet things, Guen said so, he said. When Shin-Ah told him what Ao said, about not eating too many sweets or his teeth will rot and fall out, Zeno countered that they'd grow again so it's safe to let loose.

Regardless, Shin-Ah decided to limit his sweet things intake. And Zeno's. Just in case his teeth indeed will rot and fall out and not grow again.

Although Ao did say fruits are good for him.

It's confusing. He wished he'd asked Ao more about it. Maybe moderately would be best?

"And milk... Shuten said it's good for your growth and temper... He teased Abi a lot with it, didn't he? Hey, Shin-Ah, you have nothing against milk, right? Your tummy not upset or anything?"

He didn't remember ever drinking milk. It's precious and only given to children of the Elders.

"All children drink milk, newborns can't have anything else. If you don't remember, then it might have been stopped early. When was Yakshi stopped given milk… Zeno forgot. Anyway, put it on the list of things Zeno has to give Shin-Ah, and remind me when we get to the next village. Warmed milk with a bit honey added would be best, Zeno tells you. Look forward to it."

The list was steadily growing. And for some reason, even if he said 'remind me', Shin-Ah was sure Zeno wouldn't forget. He'd even add things not included on the mental list. He's spontaneous type of person after all.

It's a bit worrying.

He had to hurry up and get better and stronger and more capable, and try to help and get things for Zeno.

Only days have passed, and yet he'd received so much after all.

"Hey, Shin-Ah, do you like to play?"

Reluctantly, he nodded in confirmation.

"I see. Of course you are, right? Zeno's all grown up but he still likes to play too. Zeno must have bored you with all he's been telling you. Let's do what you want for today after this. What do you like to play?"

"I'm having... fun. I like hearing Zeno's rambling."

"That so?"

"Yeah. Zeno, frustrated?"

"Why would I be frustrated?"

"I'm... slow, so ask a lot... And know nothing..."

"Zeno likes it when you ask, so you can ask more and I’ll be happier.”

"I'm not annoying?"

"Not at all. You're unnaturally quiet even."

"Even though I cry a lot?"

"Shin-Ah won't say much, so Zeno's doesn't know what's wrong when you cry. Zeno always thought it's my fault. I'm bothered, but not annoyed."

"I... It's never your fault."

"Even when I asked you to take off your mask? Even when I've promised to not force you?"

"It's the idiots' fault."

Zeno turned to him with wide eyes before a moment later smiled with the widest and happiest expression Shin-Ah had seen him had yet. He threw his hands up and cheered, letting the leaves he’d been collecting to fall to the ground, confusing Shin-Ah as to what could be the cause of that.

"Shin-Ah said something bad! I'm glad! I must have done something good. Good children curse according to Guen after all."

That's... that's not true. That can't be true. What kind of crazy logic did this Guen have? Shin-Ah furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Zeno seemed to notice it despite his mask. 

"Eh, why are you looking at Zeno like that? It's true! To grow up to be an upstanding character, you need to be rebel and voice your opinion with violence at least once in your lifetime! He said that Shuten was still in his rebellious phase when we met, but after few hits in the head he got over it and became a decent brother. It made sense. Even Abi agreed with him. But Zeno’s not going to hit you, obviously!"

It didn’t make sense. Not at all.

Shin-Ah wondered if Zeno’s weirdness was because his friends were all weird.

Abi, Shuten, Guen… and Kaya too. Mostly about them, although sometimes he’d mention some other names.

Speaking of which, Zeno’s been talking about them a lot but almost never about himself. Now that he thought about it, the things he knew about Zeno were mostly related to his friends and special people.

Well, not that it mattered. Shin-Ah still got lots of information regardless, and he never planned to ask anyway. Making Zeno uncomfortable was not something he wanted to do.

A voice inside him said that Zeno had said something important, and it's only because he's stupid that he hadn't realized it.

Maybe it's true. Despite what Zeno said, he's not good with words. With speaking out and with hearing out.

Zeno must knew that he didn't understand though, just like Shin-Ah could tell when his words failed to convey what he wanted Zeno to know. Like when he was practicing his writing.

Maybe after he'd learned more, he'd be able to notice and understand.

Shin-Ah wouldn't ask, and decided to wait patiently until that time comes.

And then, he'd apologize for only noticing it after such a long time.

He hoped Zeno would forgive him.

* * *

 

A group of children were playing. Their parents were out of sight, probably off in a field somewhere, tending the plants. They sang strange songs, and were dancing around with strange movements. But, they were all laughing and seemingly having fun.

Once in a while, someone would be declared a loser, even though the rule of the game was unclear. It was a silly and strange game which rules only the players understood, and to Shin-Ah it was like they were silently asking him to back away and leave them alone in their own fun private world.

Memory of what happened in his village came to his mind, and he froze in place, unable to bring himself to ask them in fear of what would happen next.

“It’s all right! Zeno wants to play too, so let’s play together?”

Zeno gripped his hand and pulled him closer to the group of children. Shin-Ah squeaked in surprise, and the children stopped what they were doing and turned to him. Their eyes were questioning. Panicked, he hid behind Zeno.

“Hey, guys. Mind if we join you?”

“Mister, who’re you?”

A boy who seemed like the older of the bunch stepped forward and asked with bravado.

“I’m Zeno, and this cute boy behind me is Shin-Ah. We’re travelers. You seem like having so much fun, so we thought of joining you. Can we?”

The children scanned them from head to toe with suspicious stares. Shin-Ah squirmed and closed his eyes out of fear and anxiety.

After what felt like eternity though…

“Sure!”

And so, Shin-Ah’s dream-like reality continued.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This marks the end of Shin-Ah's taken-away-by-Zeno story. It's to give idea as to what sort of guardian Zeno would make, and Shin-Ah's thought about him. Zeno's influenced a lot by his time with his friends and wife. And he's awkward and has forgotten about most of his experience in taking care of people, but tried hard on it. Shin-Ah was not used to his kind of treatment and had hard time believing that Zeno's real. He's slowly getting over it though, but his growing desire to get even with Zeno is a bit alarming.  
> Someone once said that abused victim will most of the time have hard time believing that they're worth anything, and Kou might be influenced on that. Well, Zeno saved him early in this fic, so he'll believe it soon, I hope.  
> Next will be Shin-Ah's meeting Jae-Ha and maybe Yona story, but since it's like this, I'll change the story description and make it a series or something.

A week has passed since his predecessor died, and it was only then that Kija was told of the newest information related to the other dragons.

“Lord Hakuryuu needed time to grief,” they’d said.

Well, he did grief. It was very saddening that he couldn’t speak more to his father, but still. To wallow in sadness over him wasn’t something he’d want Kija do, so maybe in a haze of rage he kinda threw a tantrum.

It was fuzzy. And when he realized it, the informers were already on submissive position.

Kija felt bad, but it couldn’t be helped.

After all, what those informers told him was something so absurd and beyond his imagination.

Seiryuu’s village had been abandoned, and all members of their clan was uncounted for. Near the now abandoned village, corpses of what seemed to be Earth Tribe soldiers filled the clearing, making the place seemed like hell. What could have happened, no one was certain. The informers had tried to send some of their men to major cities of Earth Tribe to find out about troops dispatchment, but it’ll take time due to the vastness of the region, and none had came back.

Meanwhile, Ryokuryuu too had gone missing.

His village was found panicking over him. His predecessor unexpectedly let him fly away to heaven-knows-where after twelve years. Eighty years or so ago, sighting of Ryokuryuu caused the village to be attacked, so it was natural they’d panic, the informers reasoned. They’re now doomed to live in fear for what might or might not come, becoming even more distrustful towards outsiders, and apparently they too were considering moving.

Under the assumption that Seiryuu villagers had moved of course. Heaven would certainly protect them, just as Hakuryuu village had been blessed and protected for more than two thousand years, but they couldn’t be certain before they get more information.

Ryokuryuu was one thing, Kija had heard of the tales. He’s the one who valued freedom the most, Kija was honestly more surprised they managed to reign him that long, but Seiryuu missing as well was really surprising. The last time he went under the radar was more than a millennia ago. The state of his abandoned village didn’t help either.

“… what of Ouryuu?”

“As always, there’s no sign of him nor his village.”

Kija wondered sometimes why Ryokuryuu was deemed the most elusive among the four dragons even though Ouryuu was the one they couldn’t find in millenniums. If he couldn’t feel his presence, faint but certain pulse of his heart, of the dragon blood running in his veins somewhere far away beyond his reach, Kija might have question his existence altogether.

If he hadn’t met him that dawn two years ago, he might have question himself.

“Forgive us, Lord Hakuryuu. We will strive hard to gather more information.”

Kija nodded dazedly and let them scurry away.

Closing his eyes, he could still feel them.

Seiryuu… Ryokuryuu… Ouryuu…

Faint and certain, far away, constantly moving and making Kija dizzy from following them. Ryokuryuu was moving as quick as he could be, while Ouryuu and Seiryuu seemed to be considerably slower and close to each other for some reason. He’d tried to use a map and had someone predict their whereabouts based on his sense, but apparently no one could understand his explanation and he wouldn’t be let to go outside and search for them himself.

Specially Seiryuu.

He’s his brother in blood, wasn’t he? Brothers were supposed to protect each other. The description of his abandoned village was so grotesque Kija couldn’t begin to imagine the horror he must have gone through, and the desperation if he had to move away.

If he moved then… how would their master find him?

Ryokuryuu too, and even Ouryuu… what were they thinking? What happened until they decided to disappear?

Kija let his eyes closed and breathed out to calm himself.

“If it’s our destiny, then we’ll meet again. Surely!”

Ouryuu had said before running away.

A miracle had happened. Kija had met the elusive Ouryuu, something not even his father believed had happened. Something not even his esteemed ancestor could experience. But, it really did.

It’s destiny, something that the heaven allowed. Something like impossibility didn’t exist. What’s bound to happen would certainly happen, no matter how low the chances of it happening is.

“Our master too… will find them… because it’s surely our destiny to gather…”

He tried to reason himself and resign to fate.

And so, Hakuryuu Kija continued his waiting until he’d meet them, as fate dictated in far future.

Until then…


	12. Extra

 Shin-Ah was asleep.

His breathing sounded nice. It’s so unlike the time after he paralyzed the soldiers’ hearts. No longer frantic. He’s not talking in his sleep too, no longer calling and apologizing to Ao.

Well, he still did it sometimes. But, it's getting less often. 

Zeno found himself smiling when he realized it.

Looking up, the sky was cloudless and filled with twinkling little stars. It was still summer, and he had just told Shin-Ah about the constellations he could and couldn't see, and the legends behind them. Made up gods and heroes immortalized in the sky, as well as stories of the departed souls he knew and loved.

Shin-Ah had tried hard to stay awake, but he couldn't fight himself after all. It was late, and he was young and tired. He needed all the rest he could get.

When he realized it though, he was already wishing for sun to rise soon, and Zeno let out a sigh. 

“I’m… Zeno is so impatient, it turns out.”

At first, Zeno had decided to wait. 

Hiryuu had been reincarnated. Zeno had heard the birth of the princess, so he figured that it must be it. There's no way she'd be able to leave castle easily though, so there’s a chance that the dragons wouldn’t be reunited in this generation even though the five of them were there for the first time in millenniums.

He went to them though, the current generation dragons. He greeted them, those little dragons, children even by normal standard, and he honestly prayed to the gods he hated that he’d be able to be with them soon.

(Although he didn’t wake Ryokuryuu. If he’d been awake, it wouldn’t end well)

(And he’s proud to say that even if he did pray for the possibility of them reuniting, he didn’t pray for something bad to be the cause of it)

(He just wanted to have fun with them again, damn it, was it too much to ask?)

Seiryuu was… worrying him the most.

His predecessor was dying, and by his prediction, it wouldn’t be long. He would still be small, still could be called a toddler when it happened.

And then… he’d be left all alone in the horrible village which had closed their eyes from the truth about Seiryuu’s beauty, strength, and kindness.

Zeno had decided to wait.

He did.

He wouldn’t interfere in anything. He would stay hidden, and only join Hiryuu when all had gathered. And that’s only when he’d deem the princess worthy to be his master. 

And yet… 

It’s different scale than when he saw Ryokuryuu chained to the wall. The scene he saw overlapped with the scene from his memories. Abi had fallen. Everyone was too afraid to touch him. He had to…

Only when he’d arrived in Seiryuu’s hut, laying him down on his cot and putting his mask back on (because seeing him crying felt wrong and terrible), that Zeno realized what he had done.

He stared down at the still unconscious child in horror.

Why… did he do it…?

It’s not… 

Leave, he had to leave. In panic, he stood hurriedly, but didn’t walk away.

He’d felt… tugged. There was something holding him down, despite it being so easy to resist. A thud resounded, and his eyes went to Seiryuu’s hand on instinct.

He was holding on his clothes, all this time even when he's unconscious.

“… rry… I’m sorry…”

Seiryuu…

“It’s not your fault… Seiryuu did what you had to do…”

He swallowed the lump that had formed on his throat, crouched down again and held Seiryuu’s tiny hand and squeezed it gently.

And then he panicked again for different reason.

It’s cold. And when he thought about it, his presence felt… Hurriedly, he pressed his palm on Seiryuu’s neck, trying to feel his carotid. It’s weak and somehow the skin felt hot to his touch.

He’s going into shock.

“Seiryuu, don’t- Hey, Seiryuu! Don’t do this to me!”

Another memory resurfaced in his mind. 

~~_“Then… good bye… Zeno…”  
_ ~~

~~_“Kaya!”  
_ ~~

It was similar and yet it was different.

She had woken up immediately. She had responded immediately. But… but Seiryuu…

“I’m… sorry… Ao… I’m sorry…”

Zeno breathed out and closed his suddenly flaming eyes.

Everything after that was a blur. He just didn’t want him to die. When he realized it, he was already attached to the little child. Even though Seiryuu was unconscious. Even though he’d decided to wait and not interfere with anything…

When he realized it, Seiryuu had agreed to his request. He had vowed to do the same to the next Seiryuus. And Seiryuu was already in his hold.

Warm, alive, and…

With him.

The fact made him giddy and so he turned to Shin-Ah and just savoring the sight of him sleeping peacefully.

He wondered what would be from now on. All of his plans (nonexistence as it was) had been thrown down the drain after all. He regretted nothing though.

Zeno placed his hand on Shin-Ah's back and pulled him closer, feeling a bit happier because Shin-Ah didn't fight him and his tiny hands clutched Zeno's clothes upon contact instead.

Well, it’ll work out somehow.

* * *

In his dream, Zeno saw what could have happened.

He saw himself walking the opposite direction. He saw himself leaving the field of corpses. Leaving Seiryuu behind.

His face was blank and seemingly uncaring. Even though the scene was akin to the pictures of hell he'd seen in his priestly days, it couldn't bring even a bit of reaction out of him. Granted, he'd gotten used to such scenes.

Zeno knew from the start that he's inhuman because of it, but he never thought he'd be like that even though his blood was boiling and begging him to move and go to his brother.

He cursed that version of him, but couldn’t help but to admit that if he was a bit more resolved in his decision to be patient and wait, he’d most likely do that.

When he woke up, he wondered what would happen to Shin-Ah if he had done exactly that. What would happen to himself if he had done exactly that.

He wondered if the him in the dream made the better choice. 

Seeing Shin-Ah eating fruits though, made him thought that it didn't matter. The him in the dream still at loss regardless.

"So, Shin-Ah? What do you want to do today?"

 


End file.
